However it happen that friends are separated, it is always sad; for the
loss of a friendship is the loss of an ideal. Sadder than the pathos
of unmated hearts is the pathos of severed souls. It is always a pain
to find a friend look on us with cold stranger's eyes, and to know
ourselves dead of hopes of future intimacy. It is a pain even when we
have nothing to blame ourselves with, much more so when we feel that
ours is the fault. It would not seem to matter very much, if it were
not such a loss to both; for friendship is one of the appointed means
of saving the life from worldliness and selfishness. It is the
greatest education in the world; for it is education of the whole man,
of the affections as well as the intellect. Nothing of worldly success
can make up for the want of it. And true friendship is also a moral
preservative. It teaches something of the joy of service, and the
beauty of sacrifice. We cannot live an utterly useless life, if we
have to think for, and act for, another. It keeps love in the heart,
and keeps God in the life.
The greatest and most irretrievable wreck of friendship is the result
of a moral breakdown in one of the associates. Worse than the
separation of the grave is the desolation of the heart by
faithlessness. More impassable than the gulf of distance with the
estranging sea, more separating than the gulf of death, is the great
gulf fixed between souls through deceit and shame. It is as the sin of
Judas. Said a sorrowful Psalmist, who had known this experience, "Mine
own familiar friend in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath
lifted up his heel against me." And another Psalmist sobs out the same
lament, "It was not an enemy that reproached me, then I could have
borne it, but it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide and mine
acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked into the
house of God in company." The loss of a friend by any of the common
means is not so hard, as to find a friend faithless. The trustful soul
has often been disillusioned thus. The rod has broken in the hand that
leaned on it, and has left its red wound on the palm. There is a
deeper wound on the heart.
The result of such a breakdown of comradeship is often bitterness, and
cynical distrust of man. It is this experience which gives point to
the worldling's sneer, Defend me from my friends, I can defend myself
from my enemies. We cannot wonder sometimes at the cynicism. It is
like treason within the camp, against which no man can guard. It is a
stab in the back, a cowardly assassination of the heart. Treachery
like this usually means a sudden fall from the ideal for the deceived
one, and the ideal can only be recovered, if at all, by a slow and
toilsome ascent, foot by foot and step by step.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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