City and town life -- Fiction; Romance fiction, American; Short stories, American
"He was in the charity part. I was afraid they'd bury him in the
potter's field and they wouldn't mark--it, and that I couldn't never
tell which one it was. So I want to get him and have him buried here.
_He_ didn't want I should go--he thought it'd be too much for me. But I
was bound to, so he says he'd go. They'd ought to get here on the Five
o'Clock this afternoon. Oh, if I'd went yesterday, do you think it would
'a' been any different?"
There I could comfort her. I did not think it would have been different.
But when I tried to tell her how much better it was this way than that
the baby should first have come to her and then have sickened, she would
have none of it.
"I've never held him once," she said. "Do you s'pose anything could be
worse than that? I'd rather have got hold of him once, no matter what."
It touched me unutterably, the grief of this mother who was no mother. I
had no knowledge what to say to her. But I think that what she wanted
most was companionship. She went to one and another and another of our
neighbours to whom she had shown so happily the broken post-card
picture, and to them in the same way she took the news:--
"My baby died."
And I was amazed to find how in this little time, the tentacles of her
heart having fastened and clung, she had made for herself, without ever
having seen the child, little things to tell about him: His eyes were so
bright; the sun was shining and the picture was made out-of-doors, yet
the eyes were opened wide. They were blue eyes--had she told us? Had we
noticed the hands in the picture? And the head was a beautiful shape....
All this seemed to me marvellous. For I saw that no woman ever mourns
for any child dumbly, as a bird mourns a fledgling, but even if she
never sees it, she will yet contrive some little tender ways to give it
personality and to cherish it.
They did their best to comfort her, the women of the village. But many
of them had lost little children of their own, and these women could not
regard her loss as at all akin to theirs. I think that this my neighbour
felt; and perhaps she dimly felt that to me her grief, hardly less than
theirs, brimmed with the tragic disaster of the unfulfilled and bore,
besides, its own peculiar bitterness. In any case I was of those who,
that afternoon, went out to the cemetery to await the coming of my
neighbour and "him" and their little burden. Calliope was there, and
Mis' Amanda Toplady and Miggy; and when it was time to go Little Child
was with me, so she went too. For I am not of those who keep from
children familiarity with death. Familiarity with the ways of death I
would spare them, but not the basic things, primal as day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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