Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
General
Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
The rest of the Masters Bindon began to enter the room. They came in a
long unbroken line. The little woman looked, with eager eyes, for the
face she sought. The line ceased. She turned to Mrs. Harland.
"That's not all?" she cried.
"I think it is," said Mrs. Harland, with a sort of gasp.
"Neddy! Neddy!"
Crying, the little woman sank on her knees upon the floor.
There was a goodly company of the Masters Bindon. There were some
among them the sight of whom gladdened their mothers' hearts.
"So it _is_ you?" observed the thick-set woman to John G. William.
"You've not gone to Canada--no such luck! Where's your brother?" The
wooden-legged hero, Oscar J. Oswald, stumped in sight. "When I get you
home I'll give you a good sound hiding, the pair of you. Didn't I tell
you to write to me each week? You haven't so much as sent me a line to
say if you was living or dead. When I get you home I'll make you wish
that you was dead."
The big woman--Louisa Brown, that was--had three young gentlemen
standing in a line in front of her. They were the three "stutters."
"Now, boys, I hope you've got cured of your stammerings. You can't
kiss me, you'll mess my things. Do you hear what I say? I do hope
you've got cured of your stammering."
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b--"
There arose a chaos of sounds. The three young gentlemen opened their
mouths. Judging from their contortions they appeared to be suffering
agonies.
"For goodness gracious stop that noise!" The fond mother clapped her
hands to her ears. "I declare I feel inclined to knock your heads
together. Why, your stammer's worse than before. I must say"--she
glanced towards Mrs. Harland--"I must say that you've been shamefully
neglected."
III.
As Mr. Harland returned along the lane which led towards home he saw,
standing in the middle of the road in front of him, a couple of
ladies, who, judging from their man[oe]uvres, appeared to be spying
out the land. As he came up one of them hailed him. A tall, angular
lady, who wore spectacles and low shoes and skirts which did not reach
to her ankles, and who spoke in a loud, shrill, rasping voice, which
might have been audible on the other side the meadow.
"Say, stranger, can you hitch us on to Mulberry House Academy, where
they lams young byes?"
"I know Mulberry House School. I'm the headmaster, Mr. Harland."
The lady turned to her companion.
"Bashemath, I guess we're solid." She returned to the gentleman.
"You're the man we're after; we're Mrs. Bindon."
"You--I presume you mean that you are Mrs. Bindon?"
"Me and her are Mrs. Bindon."
"I--I suppose there's some joke intended. Or, perhaps, this lady is
your daughter?"
"Sakes alive! Between Bashemath and me there are not twelve months."
"No, Deborah," said the other lady, "nor yet eleven."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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