Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
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Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
There came the twitch at his sleeve again. Someone addressed him in a
very muffled voice, which in force scarcely amounted to a whisper,
from the rear. Mr. Harland wheeled round.
"Who's that?" he cried.
"Ssh!" Close behind him, so close that Mr. Harland by his sudden
movement almost knocked him down, stood a man. He had his finger
pressed against his lips. "Ssh! I came round by the back; I knew that
they was in the front."
He spoke in a low and tremulous whisper. Beads of perspiration stood
on his face. Agitation was on every line. Mr. Harland stared at him,
astonished. He had approached from behind so noiselessly that the
schoolmaster had been taken unawares.
"May I ask, sir, who you are?"
"I'll tell you in 'arf a minute. Just step this way."
The stranger, taking Mr. Harland by the arm, led him in the direction
of the study which he had just now quitted. Mr. Harland allowed
himself to be led. At the study door the stranger paused. He jerked
his thumb in the direction of the drawing-room. His voice dropped to a
whisper: "How many of 'em are there?"
"How many are there, sir, of what?"
Mr. Harland put the counter-question in his ordinary tones. This
seemed to disconcert the stranger. "Never mind. Just step inside."
With a hurried movement he drew Mr. Harland within the study.
"You don't mind my just turning the key?"
"If you mean do I object to your locking the door, I do very strongly.
What are you doing? What do you mean, sir, by your impertinence?"
The stranger had not only locked the door, he had withdrawn the key
from the lock.
"Softly! softly! I don't mean no 'arm. I only want to be a little
private. Don't you know me, Mr. 'arland?"
"Know you?" The schoolmaster looked the stranger up and down. He was a
man of medium height, of a fleshy habit. His face, which was fat and
broad, and pasty hued, suggested a curious mixture of shrewdness and
of folly. His eyes were small and bright. He wore carefully-trimmed
mutton-chop whiskers, adjuncts which lent him an air of flashy
imbecility. When he removed his glossy silk hat, which he did to
enable him to mop his brow with his pink silk pocket-handkerchief, it
was seen that he was almost bald, and that what little hair he had was
straw-coloured, parted in the middle, and curled close to his head. He
was dressed from head to foot in shiny black broadcloth. His hands
were large and fat, and the fingers were loaded with rings. A thick
gold chain passed from pocket to pocket of his waistcoat, and in his
light-blue necktie was an enormous diamond pin.
"Know you?" repeated Mr. Harland, continuing his examination of the
man. "I've seen you somewhere before, and yet"--then came a sudden
burst of recollection. "Why, you're Jolly Jack!" The stranger
simpered. He carefully wiped the lining of his hat.
"Ah, Mr. 'arland, I used to be. But that's a many years ago. There's
not much jollity about me now. I'm just J. Bindon."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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