Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
General
Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"What with Gentile persecution, and what with family ructions, I got
desprit. Them byes and gals was at the bottom of the shindies, so I
made up my mind to ship 'em off, and I ships 'em."
"Without their mothers' knowledge?"
"There was bound to be little deceptions, Mr. 'arland, there was bound
to be--or I couldn't 'ave lived. I daresay I should have managed"--Mr.
Bindon sighed--"if it 'adn't been for another little marriage what I
made."
"Another!"
"It was this way, Mr. 'arland. My partner, he died, J. B. G. Dixon. He
left three wives. These 'ere three wives, they wanted to withdraw his
capital. I couldn't stand that, anyhow. So I married 'em, just to give
'em satisfaction. Three more or less didn't seem to make no odds. So I
took 'em for a little wedding trip. My managing clerk--'e was a
regular villain--I knows it now, but I didn't then. 'E 'ad a eye on
Dixon's wives 'imself, 'e 'ad. So when I married 'em 'e thought 'e'd
take it out of me. That very day I married 'em I was going to ship off
an assorted lot of sons to your academy. That there villain of a clerk
'e pretended 'e'd misunderstood my instructions. 'E went and shipped
off them eight gals of J. B. G. Dixon's, instead of my assorted lot of
sons. My crikey! when them wives of Dixon's found it out, wasn't there
a shindy! They made out it was a regular plot of mine to rob 'em of
their gals. I couldn't stand it, I tell you straight. So I've come
over 'ere to fetch 'em back again--nothing else would suit them women
but that I should. If you'll 'and 'em over, Mr. 'arland, I'll pay you
what is doo, and I'll take 'em away with me round by the back if you
don't mind."
"About the ladies in the drawing-room, Mr. Bindon?"
"There's been a little family difference, Mr. 'arland. When they 'eard
that I'd taken on with Dixon's wives they didn't seem to like it, some
of 'em. They'd found out where their byes 'ad gone to, or they thought
they 'ad, so they came over 'ere to look for 'em--mind you, without
saying a word to their 'usband, which was me. They came by one
steamer, I came by another, and if they was to know that I was 'ere
they'd want to take my life, some of 'em--I give you my word they
would."
"Give me the key of the door."
"Mr. 'arland."
"I wish to give instructions for the Misses Dixon to be sent to the
study."
"That's all? No games! It's serious, you know."
"Don't be absurd, sir. Give me the key."
"Mr. 'arland!"
Mr. Bindon yielded the key. His demeanour betokened agitation. He
stood trembling as Mr. Harland unlocked the door. When the
schoolmaster threw it open he gave a positive start. Mr. Harland
stepped into the passage.
"Sarah!" He called for the housemaid in a tone of voice which must
have been audible at some considerable distance.
"Not so loud, Mr. 'arland! You don't know what ears them women's got."
Mr. Harland rather raised his voice than otherwise. "Tell your
mistress that Mr. Bindon's here. You understand--Mr. Bindon."
"Mr. 'arland!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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