Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
General
Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
And what Mrs. Perkins said was true. There had been robbers in the
house; or, at any rate, a robber; a midnight felon; a rifler of the
homes of honest men. He had made his entry by way of the back kitchen
window. He had had his supper in the front kitchen. A hearty meal it
must have been. There were the remains of the feast still on the
board. He seemed to have eaten all that there was worth eating. He had
drunk all that there was worth drinking. He had certainly taken away
with him on his departure all that there was worth taking. He had
stripped the house of all its valuables. True, they were not many; but
they were our all. And they were gone.
I imagine that few burglaries have been better carried through. He was
a conscientious and observant workman of his kind. The ruthless
villain! I hope one day to lay hands upon him somewhere. The county
constabulary, I am certain, never will.
As for the burglar alarm--the burglar alarm was arranged in a neat
heap in a corner of the hall. It had not fulfilled the purpose it had
been intended to fulfil. Like Macgregor and Simon, his mother, the
burglar had misunderstood the intentions which had actuated our
bosoms, Leila's and mine, when we had placed it there. He cannot have
read the paragraph we had noticed in the paper.
I suspect that that burglar must have been, in his way--his own way--a
humorist. He had seen those newspapers apparently; and, if you
reflect, it was not strange: he had wondered what they meant by being
there. Possibly he had supposed that they had been placed there to
save the oilcloth and the carpets from being stepped upon. Anyhow,
being certain that at any rate his boots were clean, and that he
stepped lightly, he picked up the newspapers carefully one by one,
folded them neatly into four, and placed them, as I have said, in a
little heap in a corner of the hall.
A Lesson in Sculling
MISS WHITBY WRITES TO HER MOTHER
"My Dearest Mamma,--I have had the most delightful time you can
possibly think of. Everybody and everything has been so nice! And Jack
has been teaching me sculling. And--oh, what do you think?--he drowned
me! Yes--completely! Only, of course, it was all my fault. And he
pulled me out of the water by the hair of my head--or something; I
don't know what, or how. Wasn't it noble of him? I never enjoyed
anything so much in all my life!
"But I will tell you all about it. I know you must feel anxious. Only
don't think I'm dead, because I'm not. I haven't even caught a cold.
All owing to Charlie. He says I wasn't in the water long enough;
that's what he says. I assure you I was in the water quite long enough
for me!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account