Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
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Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"Suddenly someone called to me from the bank. It was Charlie. He was
not very well dressed; he had his towel over his arm; he was going for
his morning bathe. But I don't think I ever had loved him so much as
when I heard his voice and saw him standing there--no, not even in
that glad moment when first he told me that he loved me and asked me
to be his wife.
"'Oh, Charlie!' I cried. 'I'm drowning!'
"'That's all right!' It sounded unfeeling, but I knew what he meant.
'I'll swim out to you.'
"He leaped head foremost into the river as if it had been nothing at
all, and swam out to me as if he had been a dog. He swam first of all
to the oar, and then he swam to the boat.
"'Sit still!' he said.
"But it was not the slightest use my sitting still when he himself
nearly pulled the boat right over. Almost before I knew it he was
sitting on the seat in front of me, sopping wet and laughing.
"'What's the meaning of this?' he asked.
"'I'm learning to row.'
"'You looked as if you were learning to row! Well, have you learnt?'
"'Charlie, you're not to laugh at me! It isn't right. Some girls have
people to teach them rowing--people who care for them, that is. But I
haven't, so of course I have to teach myself. And I have to get up in
the small hours of the morning to do it too.' I sighed--or I chose to
let him think I did--'I might have been drowned.'
"'That's true--you might.' He looked at me hard, and I believe there
was a twinkle in his eyes. But as I looked right past him, far across
the water, and he saw that I was serious, I think that it went no
further. 'Look here, Miss Whitby----'
"'You're not to call me Miss Whitby, Charlie!'
"'Very well, I won't. Look here, young person----'
"'And you're not to call me young person either. I'm not a young
person.'
"'Then look here, old chap----'
"'Charlie Mason, if you call me old chap I'll get out of the boat this
instant!'
"'That's right. Do.' He pretended to wait for me to get out. I was not
so absurd. He went on: 'I don't know if you're aware that it's easier
to learn rowing with one scull than with two?'
"'How was I to know that? No one ever told me. Nobody takes sufficient
interest in me to tell me anything.'
"'If you had betrayed the slightest sign of desiring the information I
would have taken sufficient interest in you to tell you that. I came
out here to have a dip. I have had half of it. During the interval,
before I have the other half, I shall have pleasure in imparting to
you that instruction for which your soul professes to yearn.' I had
said nothing about my soul, or about yearning either; I am not so
profane. He pointed to the seat behind me. 'Get on to that seat and
sit in the middle.'
"'You must take the boat to shore first. You know how strongly I
object to changing places while the boat is in the middle of the
river; it does make it wobble so.'
"'Is the teacher to obey or to be obeyed? Execute my commands!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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