Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
General
Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"There's very much that to be said. The terms in my prospectus are
thirty guineas per annum for boys of twelve, a reduction to be made
for brothers. I have to make a reduction sometimes when there are no
brothers. In this case there are actually _seven_ brothers, and,
instead of being called upon to make a reduction--some fathers would
want you to take the seven as though they were four!--I receive one
hundred pounds a year with each, besides extras."
Mr. Harland smiled as he thought of the sum which he had drawn that
day from Messrs. Rödenheim.
"No doubt that's nice enough."
"I don't know if you're aware that I receive more from those seven
Bindons than from all the rest of my pupils put together. Under those
circumstances I don't see how it concerns me if their father has a
peculiar habit of shipping his offspring as though they were barrels
of pork, and then forgetting to 'advise' me, as he calls it, of his
'shipments'!"
"But will it last?"
"Will what last? The Bindons? Are you afraid that John G. William will
knock the rest of the family all to pieces? I don't think there is
much fear of that now that John B. David has appeared upon the scene.
It strikes me from what I have heard and seen that he will perform
upon John G. William. I noticed at tea that John G. William's
countenance seemed to be a little the worse for wear."
"But suppose tales got about, and the parents of the other boys
objected to the presence of the Bindons--they certainly are the most
remarkable children, for brothers too, I ever saw--and the other boys
were taken away, and then the Bindons went, the school would have lost
its character."
Mr. Harland reflected for a moment.
"I think I'll take the risk, Maria. So far as I am myself concerned I
only hope that Mr. Bindon may 'ship' another seven."
The wish was father to the thought. Mr. Bindon shipped them. Not a
fortnight after that discussion Mr. Harland had this letter:
"219, Twentieth Street, New York.
"Sir,--I am shipping, per s.s. _City of Thay_, an assorted lot of five
sons. My final selection not being yet made I am unable to advise you
as to their names. For fees please draw, on their arrival, on Messrs.
Rödenheim.
"Yours faithfully,
"J. Bindon.
"P.S.--Probably the lot may consist of seven."
"Maria," said Mr. Harland, when he handed this epistle to his wife,
"Mr. Bindon is a truly remarkable man."
The lady read the letter.
"Andrew, what does he mean? 'An assorted lot of five sons. Probably
the lot may consist of seven.' I take my stand, Andrew, and I
insist upon an explanation. I will not have this man shooting his
children--or what he calls his children--into my house as though they
were coals. Seven sons all of an age were hard to swallow, but at
fourteen I draw the line."
"You're not a philosopher, Maria. At the rate of a hundred pounds a
head I shouldn't draw the line at forty."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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