But the respite from that most depressing of all suffering; mental
trouble, had given her a chance, and her healthful nature began to
recover.
She was a girl of too much force and character to succumb long to
any misfortune; and, as she said to her aunt, she meant to fight
this battle out to some kind of solution.
To the surprise of every one, she appeared at the breakfast table,
very pale, but quiet, and perfectly self-possessed. Her bearing,
however, had a dignity and a decision which would make even Mrs.
Marchmont hesitate before she "meddled" again. De Forrest was half
afraid of her, and began to realize that she was not the girl he
had brought to the country but a few weeks since.
After breakfast, she dismissed Bel by saying plainly that she wished
to be alone, and then sat down, and, for the first time, tried to
clearly understand the situation. It grew more and more evident
how desperately against her were appearances. She had been false
at first, and, in a certain sense, must appear false to the last,
in that she had not told him the truth. Besides, just when and how
she had become in earnest she could not remember. The poor girl was
greatly discouraged, and again gave way to tears, as if her heart
would break.
But in the midst of her sore trouble, like a flash of genial light
came the thought, "If Mr. Hemstead will never look at me again,
there is One who will"; and she sprang up, and, having found a Bible,
turned again to its shortest text, remembering, with a quick sob,
how she had first discovered it. With almost the distinctness and
reality of actual presence, there rose up before her mind One who,
with bowed head, wept with men for men. Every tear of sympathy
appeared to fall on her bruised heart; and hope, that she believed
dead, began to revive. She just clung to one simple thought: "He
feels sorry for me"; and it comforted her.
Then she began to turn the leaves back and forth to find places
where Jesus showed kindness and forgave, and she soon found that
this was His life,--His work in which He never wearied,--kindness
to all, forgiveness for all. Then the thought stole into her heart,
like the dove bringing the "olive leaf" from across a dreary waste,
"If Mr. Hemstead is like his Master he will forgive me." Hope now
grew strong and steadily, and the impulsive, demonstrative girl
kissed the little Book, pressed it to her heart, and caressed it
as if it were a thing of life. She got out her portfolio and wrote:
"Mr. Hemstead, I sincerely ask your forgiveness for my folly, which
you cannot condemn as severely as I do. Though unworthy, indeed, of
your friendship and esteem, can you believe that I am not now the
weak, wicked creature that I was when we first met? But I have
not the courage to plead my own cause. I know that both facts
and appearances are against me. I can only ask you, Who told His
disciples to forgive each other, 'seventy times seven'?
"Yours, in sorrow and regret,
"LOTTIE MARSDEN."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account