"I never had it made so plain before. The fact is, Mr. Hemstead,
I don't know much about God, and I don't half understand myself.
This day seems like an age. I have had so many strange experiences
since I stood with you in the breakfast-room this morning,--and have
been near, perhaps, still stranger experiences, for which I feel
little prepared,--that I am excited and bewildered. I fear you
think very poorly of me."
"You do often puzzle me very greatly, Miss Marsden," he replied.
"But I think you are prone to do yourself injustice. Still that is
far better than hypocritical seeming. Whatever your fault is, you
proved to me last night, and most conclusively again this evening,
that you have a kind, generous heart. More than all, you have shown
yourself capable of the noblest things."
Lottie made no reply, but sat silent for some time; and, having
reached the level once more, Hemstead gave his attention to the
horses, till satisfied that they recognized their master and would
give no further trouble.
"Won't you sing again?" he asked.
"Yes, if you will sing with me."
"I would rather listen, but will accept your condition when I can."
She would only sing what he knew, and noted in pleased surprise
that his musical culture was by no means trifling.
"How could you take time from your grave theological studies for
such a comparatively trifling thing as music?" she asked.
"Some practical knowledge of music is no trifling matter with me,"
he replied. "In view of my prospective field of work, next to
learning to preach, learning to sing is the most important. I shall
have to start the hymns, as a general thing, and often sing them
alone."
"How can you look forward to such a life?"
"I can look forward in grateful gladness. I only wish I were more
worthy of my work."
"Did I not know your sincerity I should say that was affectation."
"Who was it that preached to the 'common people,' and in the obscure
little towns of Palestine eighteen centuries ago? Am I better than
my Master?"
"You are far better than I am. No one has ever talked to me as you
have. I might have been different if they had."
"Miss Marsden," said Hemstead, earnestly, as they were driving up
the avenue to the Marchmont residence, "when you stood beside me
this morning I pointed you to a world without, whose strange and
marvellous beauty excited your wonder and delight. You seem to
me on the border of a more beautiful world,--the spiritual world
of love and faith in God. If I could only show you that, I should
esteem it the greatest joy of my life."
"That is a world I do not understand; nor am I worthy to enter
it," she said in sudden bitterness, "and I fear I never shall be;
and yet I thank you all the same."
A few moments later they were sitting round the parlor fire,
recounting the experiences of the evening.
Before entering the house Lottie had said, "Let us say nothing about
runaway horses to aunt and uncle, or they may veto future drives."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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