From Memory's Shrine: The Reminscences of Carmen SylvaSylva, Carmen
History
From Memory's Shrine: The Reminscences of Carmen Sylva
Sylva, Carmen
Queens -- Romania -- Biography; Sylva, Carmen, 1843-1916
After that, she seemed to rally a little, and each day I paid her a
visit, sitting beside her whilst with those skilful fingers of
hers--fingers that always seemed with a touch to accomplish marvels--she
executed a host of charming things, little cardboard objects that were
as pretty in their way as the beautiful ivory carvings that had formerly
been her delight, but for which her strength no longer sufficed. Feeble
as they were, those slender diaphanous fingers had lost nothing of their
dexterity, and her inventive faculty was still fertile as of yore. Never
was there a daintier toy than the miniature fortress she cut out in
cardboard,--a feudal castle, complete in every detail. But my heart grew
heavier with each visit, for the apparent improvement in her health was
but illusive,--the flicker of a dying candle ere it be extinguished.
When the last parting came, she was just seventeen, and so sweet and
pure, she looked fit for Heaven indeed, as she waited patiently for the
summons. Her eyes grew brighter every day, her nostrils, transparent as
alabaster, dilated and quivered with every breath she drew, and the
smile of unearthly sweetness on her lips was like a perpetual
leave-taking. Earlier in that very year, my poor brother’s sufferings
had at last ended, and now, with the knowledge that my father’s days
were numbered also, I must lose my one, my best-beloved friend!
Could I but have been with her to the last! But it has so often been my
lot to be condemned by circumstances to go from the side of those whom I
loved best on earth, with the full consciousness that I should see them
here no more. Then for the first time that bitter experience was mine.
My father was ordered to a milder climate for his health, so in October
we all set out for Baden-Baden, to pass the winter there. Once more,
before we parted, Marie and I resolved to be photographed together. I
held her fast by the hand, as if by so doing I could hold her back, for
the whole time while the photograph was being taken, my eyes were fixed
on her, and saw the ominous quivering of the nostrils, that betokened
how great the effort. Quite exhausted by it, she lay down again, and I
sat by her side for a while, until my mother fetched me. We said
goodbye; and then--“You will turn round, will you not,” she said, “my
Lisi, at the door, and look back at me once more!” And I did turn round,
and look back at her smiling, though my heart was like to break, and
once outside, I had to lean against the wall to steady myself, so shaken
was I by choking sobs. And there stood her poor mother, and looked at
me, with tearless eyes. Such silent misery I have never seen in any
other countenance. This was the fourth of her children whom Frau von
Bibra must see pass away, and since the death of Max she had been an
invalid herself. She might have been another Niobe, white as marble,
with all the life and light spent in her big dark eyes, of a velvety
softness, like rich brown pansies.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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