From Place to PlaceCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
From Place to Place
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories
"'But, as the feller says, it practically ruined the entire day for them
berefts. I lost their patronage right there--and them a nice sickly
family, too. A lot of the friends and relatives also resented it; they
were telling me so all the way back from the cemet'ry. There ain't no
real harm in Emily, and I've got powerfully attached to her, but taking
one thing with another, I ain't regretting none that you've come down
all organised financially to take her out of pawn. You have my best
wishes, and so has she.'
"So we settles up the account to date, which the same makes quite a nick
in the bank-roll, and then we goes back to the rear of the stable where
Emily is quartered, and she falls on Windy's neck, mighty nigh
dislocating it, and he introduces me to Emily, and we shakes hands
together,--I means trunks,--and then Windy unshackles her, and she
follows us along just as gentle as a kitten to them freight-yards over
on Tenth Avenue where her future travelling home is waiting for her.
It's a box-car, with one end rigged up with bunks as a boudoir for me
and Windy, and the rest of it fitted out as a private stateroom for
Emily.
"From that time on, for quite a spell, we're just the same as one big
happy family, as we goes a-jauntily touring from place to place.
"We're playin' the Big Time, which means week stands and no hard jumps.
Emily's a hit, a knock-out and a riot wherever she appears. She knows it
too, but success don't go to her head, and she don't never get no
attacks of this here complaint which they calls temper'ment. I always
figgered out that temper'ment, when a grand wopra singster has it, is
just plain old temper when it afflicts a bricklayer. I don't know what
form it would take if it should seize on a bull, but Emily appears to be
absolutely immune. Give her a ton of hay and one sack of peanuts a day,
and she's just as placid as a great gross of guinea pigs. Behind the
scenes she never makes no trouble, but chums with the stage-hands and
even sometimes with the actors, thus proving that she ain't stuck up.
"When the time comes for Emily to do her turn, she just goes ambling on
behind Windy and cuts up more didoes than any trick-mule that ever
lived. She smokes a pipe, and she toots on a brass horn, and waits on
table while Windy pretends to eat, and stands on her head, and plays
baseball with him and so forth and so on, for fifteen minutes, winding
up by waving the Amurikin flag over her head. But all this time she's
keeping one eye on me, where I'm standing in the wings with a sack of
peanuts in my pocket waiting for her to come off. Every time she works
over toward my side of the stage, she makes little hoydenish remarks to
me in her native language. It ain't long until I can make out everything
she says. I've been pedling the bull too long not to be able to
understand it when spoke by a native.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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