"You forget that I have no false notions as to the question of right and
wrong in cases of this kind. I assure you that if I undertake this
operation it will be with a single purpose in mind: to save and prolong
the life of my patient. The worst you can say of me is that I am convinced
beforehand that I shall fail. If I were to act upon the principles I
advocate, I should not feel obliged to go through the travesty of an
operation. The time may come when cases of this sort will be laid before a
commission, and if in their judgment it is deemed humane to do so, a drug
will be administered and the horrors that are likely to attend my efforts
of to-morrow will be impossible. There is no such law to sustain me now,
no commission, no decision by experts and familiars to back me up, so I
can only obey the commands of the patient himself,—and do the best I can
for him. He insists on having the operation performed—and by me. I am one
of the family. I am his only blood relative. It is meet and just, says he,
that I should be the one, and not some disinterested, callous outsider.
That is the way he puts it, and I have not denied him."
"It is horrible," she moaned, shuddering. "Why do you ask me to consent?
Why do you put it up to me?"
"You now place me in the position of the surgeon who advises a prompt—I
mean, who says that an operation is imperative."
"But that isn't the truth. You do not advise it."
He drew a long breath. "Yes, I do advise it. There is no other way. I
shall try to save him. I _do_ advise it."
She left him and went over to the fireplace, where she stood with her back
toward him for many minutes, staring into the coals. He did not change his
position. He did not even look at her. His eyes were fixed on the rug near
the closed door. There was a warm, soft red in that rare old carpet.
Finally she turned to him.
"I shall not let you take all of the responsibility, Braden," she said.
"It isn't fair. I shall not oppose you. You have my consent to go on with
it."
"I assume all responsibility," he said, abruptly, almost gruffly.
"You are wrong there, Braden," she said, slowly. "My husband assumes the
responsibility. It is his act, not yours. I shall always regard it in that
light, no matter what may happen. It is his command."
He tried to smile. "Perhaps that is the right way to look at it," he said,
"but it is a poor way, after all." For a full minute they stood looking
into each other's eyes. "Then I shall go ahead with the—arrangements," he
said, compressing his lips.
She nodded her head.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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