"Cancer? Say it, my boy. I'm not afraid of the word. Most people are. It's
a dreadful word. How can I answer your question? Years, no doubt. It
became active a year and a half ago. I knew what it was, even then."
"In heaven's name, sir, why did you let it go on? An operation at that
time might have—"
"You forget that I could afford to wait. When a man gets to be as old as I
am he can philosophise even in the matter of death. What is a year or two,
one way or the other, to me? An operation is either an experiment or a
last resort, isn't it? Well, my boy, I preferred to look upon it as a last
resort, and as such I concluded to put it off until the last minute, when
it wouldn't make any difference which way it resulted. If it had resulted
fatally a year and a half ago, what would I have gained? If it should take
place to-morrow, with the same result, haven't I cheated Time out of
eighteen months?"
"But the pain, the suffering," cried Braden. "You might at least have
spared yourself the whole lifetime of pain that you have lived in these
last few months. You haven't cheated pain out of its year and a half."
"True," said Mr. Thorpe, his lips twitching with the pain he was trying to
defy; "I have not been able to laugh at the futility of pain. Ah!" It was
almost a scream that issued from between his stretched lips. He began to
writhe....
"Come in again to-night," he said half an hour later, whispering the words
with difficulty. The two nurses and the doctor's assistant, who had been
staying in the house for more than a week, now stood back from the
bedside, dripping with perspiration. The paroxysm had been one of the
worst he had experienced. They had believed for a time that it was also to
be the last. Braden Thorpe, shaking like a leaf because of the very
inactivity that was forced upon him by the activity of others, wiped the
sweat from his brow, and nodded his head in speechless despair. "Come in
to-night, after you've talked with Anne and Dr. Bates. I'm easier now. It
can't go on much longer, you see. Bates gives me a couple of weeks. That
means a couple of centuries of pain, however. Go now and talk it over with
Anne."
With this singular admonition pounding away at his senses, Braden went out
of the room. Wade,—the ever-present Wade,—was outside the door. His
expression was as calmly attentive as it would have been were his master
yawning after a healthy nap instead of screaming with all the tortures of
the damned. As Braden hurried by, hardly knowing whither he went, the
servant did something he had never done before in his life. He ventured to
lay a detaining hand upon the arm of a superior.
"Did he ask you to—to do it, Master Braden?" he whispered hoarsely. The
man's eyes were glazed with dread.
Braden stopped. At first he did not comprehend. Then Wade's meaning was
suddenly revealed to him. He drew back, aghast.
"Good Lord, no! No, no!" he cried out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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