Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
Not because I was possessed of greater fear, or less courage, than any
of the party, but because I felt that I had more to live for, I was the
first to reach the open air. The “Judge” was following close at my
heels, but in his blind haste he tripped in the doorway and blocked the
passage. It was at this critical moment that the leap-frog performance
commenced.
[Illustration: NEEDED AIR.]
The antics of Chirini’s circus troupe, during their most brilliant
achievements, dwindled into mere schoolboy exercise when compared with
the gymnastic efforts of the excited miners. Out came my friend Colyer
over the prostrate form of the Judge, and the one-eyed Swede over
Colyer, his hair erect and his one dilated eye standing in bold relief
from his dark face, like the ornamental stud on a horse’s blinker. Last
though not least interested or frightened, came Theodore Arthur
Willoughby Spooner, sailing like a flying squirrel over the one-eyed
Swede. In the meantime the pistol was jumping about in the fire like a
fish in a scoop-net, showering bullets in every direction.
The clock hung silent upon the wall, having received a charge of
buckshot full in the face, and the dog lay dead upon the hearthstone.
“Chickens come home to roost,” saith the old proverb, and indeed it
would seem so, for poor Judge Twitchell, whose rashness brought about
the whole calamity, received a parting salute, a farewell shot, just as
he had gathered himself on all fours to make a final lunge from the
fusillade within. Fortunately the wound was not a fatal one, though
severe enough to keep his memory green for weeks.
Some time elapsed before any person would venture back into the cabin
after the firing ceased. No one had kept count of the shots or knew at
what moment the battery might open again. We probably would have
remained out all night rather than take any chances, but the coals which
had been thrown over the cabin, started a brisk fire in half a dozen
different places, and we were obliged to run some risks to extinguish
the flames and save the place.
[Illustration]
THE PRIZE I DIDN’T WIN.
Who hath contended for a prize? Who hath stood in front of an armed host
with a noble emulation warming his breast? Who, with one eye glancing
along the barrel to the target in the distance, and the other closed
upon the world, hath pressed carefully upon the decisive trigger? And
who hath seen the glittering bone of contention passing away into other
hands than his at the close of the contest? If such a person there be,
then can he sympathize with me in this, my dark hour of despondency.
[Illustration: THE BEST SHOT.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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