Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society: A condensed but thorough treatise on etiquette and its usages in America, containing plain and reliable directions for deportment in every situation in life.Frost, S. Annie (Sarah Annie)
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Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society: A condensed but thorough treatise on etiquette and its usages in America, containing plain and reliable directions for deportment in every situation in life.
Frost, S. Annie (Sarah Annie)
Etiquette -- United States
"The gentlemen got up betimes to shoot,
Or hunt; the young, because they liked the sport
The first thing boys like, after play and fruit;
The middle-aged, to make the day more short;
For ennui is a growth of English root,
Though nameless in our language-we retort
The fact for words, and let the French translate
That awful yawn which sleep cannot abate.
"The elderly walked through the library,
And tumbled books, or criticized the pictures,
Or sauntered through the garden piteously,
And made upon the hot-house several strictures;
Or rode a nag which trotted not too high,
Or in the morning papers read their lectures;
Or on the watch their longing eyes would fix,
Longing at sixty for the hour of six."
"But none were 'gene;' the great hour of union
Was rung by dinner's knell! till then all were
Masters of their own time-or in communion,
Or solitary, as they chose to bear
The hours,-which how to pass to few is known.
Each rose up at his own, and had to spare
What time he chose for dress, and broke his fast
When, where, and how he chose for that repast."'
In this country, hospitality is but seldom conducted on the lavish
broad scale possible at an English country residence; but, as far
as possible, it is better to allow guests perfect liberty for
breakfast hour and morning employments.
Great discretion must be used among guests to avoid all criticism
on their host, his friends, his household, his manner of living,
and all that concerns him. If anything goes wrong during the
visit, one should seem not to see it. If the dinner is late, it is
very impolite to appear impatient. If any plan falls to the
ground, no comments or disapproval must be indulged in, and no
disappointment betrayed. If the children of the house are
fractious, or noisy, or ill-bred, a visitor must never find fault
with their behavior.
The same caution must be exercised in the treatment of your
friend's friends. They may be such as you do not care to become
intimate with; but you must not evince dislike or special
avoidance, and must always have recourse rather to a negative than
a positive line of conduct. A person of tact can always keep
people at a distance without hurting their feelings.
Your host's horses, carriages, books, and grounds should be even
more carefully used than if they were your own. A goodnatured man
will delight in seeing his visitors enjoy all the good things he
places at their disposal; but they should not abuse his
indulgence. To ride a horse too far or too fast, to dog's-ear or
blot the books in the library, to gather choice and favorite
flowers, are all signs of an under-bred and selfish nature. Above
all, we should be thoughtful in our treatment of the servants,
never commenting upon their shortcomings, or scolding them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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