Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society: A condensed but thorough treatise on etiquette and its usages in America, containing plain and reliable directions for deportment in every situation in life.Frost, S. Annie (Sarah Annie)
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Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society: A condensed but thorough treatise on etiquette and its usages in America, containing plain and reliable directions for deportment in every situation in life.
Frost, S. Annie (Sarah Annie)
Etiquette -- United States
"It is always desirable to have, if possible, servants of one
faith But if it so happens that you have a Roman Catholic servant
and a Protestant in your service, you are bound to allow each the
free exercise of her religion, and you ought not to respect them
if, out of interest, they will conform to yours. An exercise of
authority on this point amounts, in my opinion, to an act of
tyranny, and it can only tend to promote insincerity, and,
perhaps, engender skepticism in its object. Nothing is, indeed, so
dangerous as to unsettle the faith of the lower classes, who have
neither time nor opportunity of fairly considering subjects of
religious controversy.
"While on the subject of servants, I must deprecate the over
indulgence of the present system towards them. Formerly they were
treated with real kindness; but it was the kindness that exacted
duty in return, and took a real interest in the welfare of each
servant. The reciprocal tie in former times between servant and
master was strong; now it is wholly gone. The easy rule of masters
and mistresses proceeds far more from indifference than from
kindness of heart; for the real charity is to keep servants
steadily to their duties. They are a class of persons to whom much
leisure is destruction; the pursuits of their idle hours are
seldom advantageous to them, and theirs are not minds, generally,
which can thrive in repose. Idleness, to them, is peculiarly the
root of all evil; for if their time is not spent in vicious
amusements, it is often passed in scandal, discontent, and vanity.
In writing thus, I do not recommend a hard or inconsiderate system
to servants. They require, and in many instances they merit, all
that can be done to alleviate a situation of servitude. They ought
not to be the slaves of caprice or the victims of temper. Their
work should be measured out with a just hand; but it should be
regularly exacted in as much perfection as can be expected in
variable and erring human nature.
"Another point on which I would recommend firmness is that of
early hours. In this respect, example is as important as precept;
but, however uncertain you may be yourself, I would not relax a
rule of this kind; for every comfort during the day depends on the
early rising of your servants. Without this, all their several
departments are hurried through or neglected in some important
respect.
"Your mode of address to servants must be decisive, yet mild. The
authoritative tone I do not recommend. It is very unbecoming to
any young person, and it rarely attains the end desired; but there
is a quiet dignity of deportment which few servants ever can
resist. This should be tempered with kindness, when circumstances
call it forth, but should never descend to familiarity; for no
caution is more truly kind than that which confines servants
strictly to their own sphere.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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