She knew no sweeter reward for all that she did than the kisses of the
children in the poor homes whither she brought a little joy. When the
youngster had boldly thrown his arms round her neck, her eyes filled with
tears; and, addressing herself to his mother, she repeated: "No, no, you
must not complain; there are others who are more unhappy than you. I know
one who if this pretty little fellow could only be her own would
willingly accept your poverty, and paste boxes together from morning till
night and lead a recluse's life in this one room, which he suffices to
fill with sunshine. Ah! good Heavens, if you were only willing, if we
could only change."
For a moment she became silent, afraid that she might burst into sobs.
The wound dealt her by her childlessness had always remained open. She
and her husband were now growing old in bitter solitude in three little
rooms overlooking a courtyard in the Rue de Lille. In this retirement
they subsisted on the salary which she, the wife, received as a
lady-delegate, joined to what they had been able to save of their
original fortune. The former fan-painter of triumphant mien was now
completely blind, a mere thing, a poor suffering thing, whom his wife
seated every morning in an armchair where she still found him in the
evening when she returned home from her incessant peregrinations through
the frightful misery of guilty mothers and martyred children. He could no
longer eat, he could no longer go to bed without her help, he had only
her left him, he was her child as he would say at times with a despairing
irony which made them both weep.
A child? Ah, yes! she had ended by having one, and it was he! An old
child, born of disaster; one who appeared to be eighty though he was less
than fifty years old, and who amid his black and ceaseless night ever
dreamt of sunshine during the long hours which he was compelled to spend
alone. And Madame Angelin did not only envy that poor workwoman her
little boy, she also envied her that old man smoking his pipe yonder,
that infirm relic of labor who at all events saw clearly and still lived.
"Don't worry the lady," said Norine to her son; for she felt anxious,
quite moved indeed, at seeing the other so disturbed, with her heart so
full. "Run away and play."
She had learnt a little of Madame Angelin's sad story from Mathieu. And
with the deep gratitude which she felt towards her benefactress was
blended a sort of impassioned respect, which rendered her timid and
deferent each time that she saw her arrive, tall and distinguished, ever
clad in black, and showing the remnants of her former beauty which sorrow
had wrecked already, though she was barely six-and-forty years of age.
For Norine, the lady-delegate was like some queen who had fallen from her
throne amid frightful and undeserved sufferings.
"Run away, go and play, my darling," Norine repeated to her boy: "you are
tiring madame."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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