"Yes, but I don't think you ought to say it," pouted Boodles.
"We are ordinary people. I am not quite what the Bellamies would call a
gentleman. My father was only a piano-maker," old Weevil faltered,
hoping that the girl would think of her unknown parents when she heard
him refer to his. "I went to a grammar-school, then became a bank-clerk
until I was shelved, partly on account of my grey hairs, but chiefly
because I hit the cashier on the head with a ruler for kicking a dog. I
could not go into Mr. Bellamie's house, Boodles. It is too good for both
of us. There is nothing to be ashamed of in my name, but it is not a
genteel one. We are only unimportant beetles, and the Bellamies are big
bugs," he said, laughing in spite of his feelings at his joke because it
was so seldom that he made one.
"Aubrey knows all about it. He doesn't care," declared Boodles, nodding
cheerfully. "Besides, I'm not really your daughter anyhow."
Weevil gasped at her innocent impertinence. Here he was trying to make
her understand that she was a nameless little lady who could not
possibly marry any one of gentle birth, and she was calmly suggesting
she might be superior to him. It was only a thoughtless remark, but it
served to show him that nothing but plain speaking would serve with a
girl in love. She looked at everything through Aubrey's eyes; and Aubrey
was only a boy who could hardly know his own mind. A boy does not care
whether his sweetheart's father is a tinker or a rake; but a man, and an
only son, who has reached an age when he can understand what his family
and society and his profession demand of him, cares a great deal. There
comes a time for every young person when he or she must leave fairyland
and go into the world; and the pity of it is they cannot return. They
look back, but the gate is shut. It is a gate which opens only one
way--to exclude. For every child is born inside. They grow up, and see
their children in that pleasant land, and wish they could join them
there; but if they could go back they would not be happy, for it would
be to them no longer a place of romance and sunshine, but a place of
shadow, and dead selves, and memories. It would not be spring, with
primroses and bluebells in flower, but a Christmas Eve when the dead
life and the dead companions haunt the house, and grim Mother Holle is
plucking her geese and dropping the feathers down the chimney. Aubrey at
twenty adored Boodles. Aubrey at thirty might worry his head about her
parents and her birth-name. Boodles at thirty would be the same as she
was then, loving, and wanting nothing else. Weevil was right in some of
his theories. Every one must suffer from the Brute, except those who
deserve it most. The innocent have to suffer for them. Boodles too was
right. It is no use trying to solve queer puzzles.
"No, darling; you are not my daughter. I wish you were. I wish you
were."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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