It was a feast-day in the village. Chapel tea and an Ebenezer love-feast
were in full swing, for Pezzack and his bride had arrived that day to
take up their abode in a cottage which had been freshly whitewashed to
symbolise the spotless nature of its new occupants' souls. Children,
dressed in their best, had earlier paraded the street with a yellow
banner, shrill hymn-screaming, and a box to collect the offerings of the
faithful.
It had been announced that Pezzack would preside over the tea, and that
his bride would pour it out. Eli would recite grace, and all the
children would say amen. Later there would be prayer and preaching, when
Pendoggat was expected to give further proof of his rough eloquence and
of his devotion to the particular form of religion which he favoured and
to the pastor who was its faithful and local representative. Then a
blessing would be given, and the girls and young men would pair off in
the dark and embrace in lonely places.
Peter saw signs of the love-feast, and tokens of the refreshments, and
the sight increased his thirst. Had beer been on supply within the
chapel, instead of rather weak tea, he would probably have experienced a
sudden ardour for religion, and have hurried there with incoherent
entreaties to be placed on the penitential bench and received into the
Wesleyan fold. As the festivities were of an entirely temperate nature,
so far as things fluid were concerned, he decided to go and visit
school-master. It was not in the least likely that the old man would
lend him twopence, but Peter had enough wit to argue that it is often
the most unlikely things which happen.
Master was sitting at his window, writing a letter to his son in Canada.
He welcomed Peter gladly, and at once asked him to spell "turnips." It
was a strange question, considering their positions, but Master
explained he was getting so old and forgetful, and never could get the
simple words right. The long and difficult words he could spell readily
enough, but when it came to anything easy he felt so mazed he couldn't
seem to think of anything.
"I be telling my Jackie how amazing fine the turnips be this fall," he
explained.
Peter was glad to oblige Master. To help him with such an obscure word
would be worth twopence. Slowly and stertorously he spelt it thus:
"Turnnups."
"B'est sure that's right?" said Master, rather suspiciously.
Peter had no doubt whatever. He could spell harder words than that, and
with the same accuracy.
"Seems to me somehow some spells 'en wi' one _n_," said Master.
"Us don't. Us allus spells 'en wi' two," said Peter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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