"Then he ses things about other volk, and about the weather," Master
went on. "He puts down all he can think of, so long as it be decent.
Mun't put down anything that bain't decent 'cause that would shock
volks."
"Nothing 'bout Varmer Pendoggat and Chegwidden's maid?" the other
suggested, in rather a disappointed voice.
"Hark ye, Peter," said Master decidedly, "you had best bide quiet about
that. Volks wun't tak' your word against his, and if he purty nigh
murders ye no one wun't try to stop 'en. A man bain't guilty till he be
found out, and Varmer Pendoggat ain't been found out."
"He can't touch I. Mary wun't let 'en, and I've made a mommet of 'en
tu," said the little man.
"Made a mommet, ha' ye? Aw, man, that be an awful thing to du. It be
calling in the devil to work for ye, and the devil wun't work wi'out
pay, man. He'll come sure 'nuff, and say to yew: 'I wants your soul,
Peter. I've a bought 'en wi' that mommet what yew made.' I be main cruel
sorry for yew, Peter."
"It be done now," said Peter gloomily.
Master wagged his head until his silver spectacles dropped off his nose,
added a little wisdom, then returned to his subject.
"Yew mun write things what you wun't be ashamed to let folk read. When
'tis a wet day yew ses so, and when it be fine you ses it be butiful.
When yew gets thoughts yew puts 'em all down."
"What du'ye mean?" asked the aspirant.
"Why, you think as how it be a proper feeling when you'm good, and yew
ses so. That be a thought."
"S'pose yew bain't feeling good?" suggested Peter quite naturally.
"Then yew writes about what it feels like to be bad," explained Master.
"Yew puts it down this sort o' way: 'I feels bad to-day. I don't mean I
feels bad in my body, for that be purty middling, but I feels bad in my
soul. It be a cruel pity, and I hopes as how I wun't feel so bad
to-morrow.' All them be thoughts, Peter; and that be the way books are
written."
"Thank ye kindly, master. It be proper easy," said Peter.
"You'm welcome, varmer. Nothing's no trouble."
Peter bought the articles necessary for fame, and went home. Mary was
forking manure, pausing only to spit on her hands; but she stopped for
another reason when Peter told her he was going to keep a diary.
"What be yew talking about?" she cried, amazed at such folly. "Us ha'
got one as 'tis. What du us want wi' another?"
Peter had to explain that the business of his diary had nothing to do
with such base commerce as cream and butter, but consisted in recording
the actions of a blameless life upon a pennyworth of paper for the
instruction and edification of those who should come after them. Mary
grasped her fork, and told him he was mazed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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