Peter overheard that, put his head on one side in philosophic
contemplation, and presently took his pen and wrote: "Bootiful maids
what feels ugly still be bootiful. It be contrairy like, but it be
true;" and the number of that thought was one-hundred-and-seventy-one.
Mary was not far wrong, for Boodles was quite as attractive as ever. She
was more womanly, and had put pathos on her face with the little lines
and shadows which impelled love for very pity. Her eyes seemed to have
become larger, and her pale frightened face, under the radiant hair
which had not changed, was fascinating with its restless changes. There
was one thing left to her, and she called it everything. Each week the
cold weather went away for a few hours, and warm June came round with a
burst of flowers and sunshine, and her heart woke up and sang to her;
for Aubrey had not forgotten. He wrote to her, though she kept her
promise and did not write to him. Every week the question came: "Why
don't you write?" and sometimes she thought the letters were getting
colder, and then the stage sunshine was turned off and real thunder
rolled. He had written to his parents, but they had told him nothing.
They didn't even refer to her in their letters. It seemed to him as if
she was dead, and he was getting miserable. But she would not break her
promise and write; and if consent had been given she could not tell him
the truth, send him out of her life for ever, and end those wonderful
mornings when the postman came.
Aubrey loved her still, that gave her everything, and while his love
lasted she was still on the green oasis, and could shut her eyes to the
desert, scarred with the bodies of those who had tried to cross it and
had fallen in the attempt, the bare desert of life without any sweet
water of love, which she would have to try and cross without a guide
when he came back and she had told him plainly what she was. She thought
it would kill her, for love cannot be removed without altering the
entire universe; for with love the sun goes, and the flowers go, and all
the pleasant nooks; and there is nothing left but the rocks, the moaning
of the sea, the fierce and ugly things, and faces that scowl but never
smile. The only perfect happiness is the birth of love; the only
absolute misery is the death of it; and it is such a tender growth that
one careless word may chill it into death.
The three were sitting together in the lamplight, and Peter was giving
oral evidence of his inspiration, when there came a knock upon the door,
a thing almost without precedent after dark. Boodles shivered because
she hated sudden knocks which suggested unpleasant visitors and horrors,
while Mary turned from her work and went to the door. Annie was standing
there, or staggering rather, a black shawl round her head, her face
ghastly.
"Please to come in," said Mary.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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