After the concert there were disturbances outside. One faction cheered
the performers; another hooted them. Then a light of Ebenezer kindled
into religious fire and hit an Anglican postman in the eye. The response
of the Church Militant loosened two Nonconformist teeth. Chegwidden
reappeared on horseback, swaying from side to side, holding on by the
reins, and raising the cry of down with everything except Ebenezer and
liquor-shops.
Pendoggat stood aloof, looking on, hoping there would be a fight. He did
not mix in such things himself. It was his custom to stand in the
background and work the machinery from outside. He liked to see men
attacking one another, to watch pain inflicted, and to see the blood
flow. Turning to the man whose mouth had been damaged he muttered: "Go
at him again."
"I'm satisfied," came the answer.
"He called you a dirty monkey," lied Pendoggat.
The insult was sufficient. The Anglican postman was walking away, having
fought a good fight for the faith that was in him, by virtue of two
shillings a week for various duties, and his Opponent seizing the
opportunity attacked him vigorously from the rear. Peter and Mary
watched the conflict, and their savage souls rejoiced. This was better
than all the pianos and fiddles in the world. They felt at last they
were getting value for their free tickets.
Sport was terminated by the sudden appearance of the Maggot. He had been
drafting a prospectus of the "Tavy Nickel Mining Company, Limited," and
had issued forth to look for the managing director. He stopped the fight
and lectured the combatants in spiritual language. He comprehended how
the ex-chapel had been desecrated that night by godless people, and he
appreciated the zeal which had prompted a member of his congregation to
defend its sanctity; but he explained that it was not lawful for
Christians to brawl upon the streets. To take out a summons for assault
was far holier. The man with the loosened teeth explained that he should
do so. It was true he had incited the postman to fight by striking him
first; but then he had struck him with Christian charity in the eye,
which entailed only a slight temporary discomfort and no permanent loss;
whereas the postman had struck him with brutal ferocity on the mouth,
depriving him of the services of two teeth; and had moreover added
obscene language, as could be proved by impartial witnesses. Pezzack
assured him that the teeth Bad fallen in a good cause; men and women had
been tortured and burnt at the stake for their religion; and he quoted
the acts of Bloody Mary, that bigoted lady who has become the hardy
perennial of Nonconformist sermons, with a strong emphasis upon the
qualifying, adjective. The champion went away delighted. He had won his
martyr's crown, and his teeth were not so very loose after all. A little
beer would soon tighten them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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