The Colonel uttered a slight cough as if to clear away his momentary severity, bowed with gracious dignity, touched the glass of his host, drew out his handkerchief, wiped his mouth, and seated himself once more. "If my object," he began, with a wave of dignified depreciation, "were simply one of ordinary business, I should have sought you, sir, in the busy mart, and not among your Lares and Penates, nor in the blazing lights of the festive hall. I should have sought you at that temple which report and common rumour says that you, sir, as one of the favoured sons of Fortune, have erected to her worship. In my intercourse with the gifted John C. Calhoun I never sought him, sir, in the gladiatorial arena of the Senate, but rather with the social glass in the privacy of his own domicile. Ged, sir, in my profession, we recognise some quality in our relations even when professional with gentlemen that keep us from approaching them like a Yankee pedlar with goods to sell!" "What's your profession?" asked Mr. Dumphy. "Until elected by the citizens of Siskiyou to represent them in the legislative councils I practised at the bar. Since then I have been open occasionally to retainers in difficult and delicate cases. In the various intrigues that arise in politics, in the more complicated relations of the two sexes--in, I may say, the two great passions of mankind, Ambition and Love, my services have, I believe, been considered of value. It has been my office, sir, to help the steed of vaulting ambition--er--er--over the fence, and to dry the--er--tearful yet glowing cheek of Beauty. But for the necessity of honour and secrecy in my profession, sir, I could give you the names of some of the most elegant women, and some of the first--the very first men in the land as the clients of Culpepper Starbottle." "Very sorry," began Mr. Dumphy, "but if you're expecting to put me among your list of clients, I"---- Without taking the least notice of Dumphy's half-returned sneer, Colonel Starbottle interrupted him coolly: "Ged, sir!--it's out of the question, I'm retained on the other side." The sneer instantly faded from Dumphy's face, and a look of genuine surprise took its place. "What do you mean?" he said curtly. Colonel Starbottle drew his chair beside Dumphy, and leaning familiarly over his desk took Mr. Dumphy's own penholder and persuasively emphasised the points of his speech upon Mr. Dumphy's arm with the blunt end. "Sir, when I say retained by the other side, it doesn't keep me from doing the honourable thing with the defendant--from recognising a gentleman and trying to settle this matter as between gentlemen." "But what's all this about? Who is your plaintiff?" roared Dumphy, forgetting himself in his rage.