And when the man had begun the actual words that meant bribe, he had
seized on the situation as a vindication. Opportunity to rehabilitate
himself, to wipe out with a single gesture the clutter of dishonesties
which were beginning to inconvenience him. He had embraced it and
emerged from the club a man, remade. No longer an inwardly shifty Basine
able to rise to righteousness only by avoiding his memories. But a
Basine with a platform inside him on which he might stand fearlessly.
The platform--I am honest. I refused a bribe--had erected itself over
the complex memories of himself. They were obliterated now.
He entered his chambers with a serious happiness in his heart. A miracle
had happened and he had been given absolution--by himself.
16
Ruth Davis was at her desk. She looked up eagerly as he entered. Basine,
hanging up his coat and hat, felt a businesslike desire to explain
matters to her. He was an honest man, done with subterfuges.
He would explain to her that it was no longer possible for her to
continue in his employ. Use correct but kindly words. He was an honest
man. He wanted to impress himself and everybody else with this fact.
Even Ruth. He had no thought of impressing it on Henrietta. Henrietta
would only be surprised to hear he was an honest man. Because she had
always believed it anyway.
But he would like to tell Ruth, because it would raise her opinion of
him; fill her with a great pride. A sad pride, of course, since it meant
their separation. But she would go away loving him even more because of
his honesty that had put an end to his love for her.
The course, however, was impossible. It involved a ludicrous situation.
Because he had never said he loved her and she had been as silent as he.
And so telling her all these very fine things would make it necessary
for him to say first, "I have loved you." And then to add, "But I don't
love you any more. I can't."
It was two o'clock. Time for the Judge to take his place on the bench.
Basine arose from behind his table with a sense of anti-climax. Nothing
had happened. He was going back to his place on the bench again. Poor
Gilchrist lay hidden forever and Ware had tried to bribe him and he had
proven himself a man of astounding integrity. And he had overcome a
growing infatuation for Ruth Davis. Yet nothing had happened.
"Shall I retype the Friday speech, Judge?" Ruth inquired as he hesitated
before her desk. He looked at her as if it were difficult to focus his
attention on her. He was preoccupied. A man of many preoccupations who
found it hard to notice little things around him.
"Oh yes, the speech," he agreed. "Type it. And if there are any mistakes
change them to suit yourself."
He walked out of chambers. Ruth turned to her typewriter and prepared to
set to work. But as the door closed behind Basine she stopped. She
removed a small mirror from a drawer and studied her face in it. She
leaned back in her seat and sighed. She felt too restless to work.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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