The heaviness grew unbearable. Another man was touching Ruth. This was
unbearable. He couldn't stand it. But why? What difference? He
couldn't.... She was so beautiful. Another man's hands were desecration.
A weakness came to him. His heart darkened. What if she did, with
Schroder? They were probably kissing now. It had been hard to imagine
himself kissing her. To him she somehow seemed aloof, beyond possession.
But it was easy to imagine Schroder. Men and women put their arms around
each other and that was an end to aloofness.
He made an effort to pull himself together. Voices were droning around
him--other people's troubles. Faces thrust themselves tactlessly at his
eyes. He grew nauseated. He had never felt like this before. As if he
must do something despite his will. His will said, "Sit there. Don't
move. It's none of your business." But this other thing was pulling him
out of his seat and moving his body for him.
He clenched his teeth and muttered to himself, "She's no good. Wasting
my time on her!"
"That will be all for today," Basine muttered. He placed his hand
wearily over his forehead. This would make them think he was ill. His
clerk came forward.
"Anything wrong, Judge?" he asked with concern.
Basine shook his head with Spartan indifference to the mythical disease
consuming him.
"No," he said, belying his answer in its tone, "court is adjourned until
ten o'clock tomorrow."
He nodded briefly at the faces. The solicitous regard in the eyes of
attorneys and jurors reassured him. He was ill, very ill--that was it.
Of course, that was it. The eyes of the attorneys and jurors said, "You
are working too hard. You must be careful of a nervous breakdown. In
your prime too. Be careful."
He walked off the bench, his step unsteady. He was acting. But the fact
that his step was not authenticly unsteady was an accident--and
illogical. He felt it logical to walk unsteadily since everyone thought
him ill and on the verge of a breakdown.
"You'd better go home, Judge."
Basine nodded gratefully to his clerk. He opened the door to his
chambers. The sight of Schroder bewildered him. Schroder was still
there. He had his hat in his hand, though. Basine stared at his friend.
His heart contracted and his breath fluttered in his throat.
"What's wrong, George?"
"Nothing. Headache. Knocked off for the day."
Words were hard to speak. His eyes turned to Ruth. She was watching him.
Frightenedly, he thought. Had she done something? Kissed? They looked
guilty. He tried to find answers to the questions by staring at her. Was
she the same as she had been? Or had she given her lips? A vital
question. They were going out tonight together. Basine controlled
himself. He sat down at his desk and ran his hand wearily over his head.
"Well, so long," Schroder spoke. "Hope you feel better, George." A
pause. "See you later, Ruth."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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