He saw her and his excitement changed. A leisurely smile came to his
face. His body relaxed. He was a connoisseur in rendezvous and his
enjoyment of the moment which witnessed her approach was deliberate.
Women in themselves did not interest him so much. Their
bodies--pleasant, yes. But after all--a finale. And one does not applaud
finales.
But now, watching her lithe figure hurrying toward him was a diversion
to be sipped at, contemplated in all its emotional detail, and enjoyed.
Later it would be this moment he remembered, if he remembered
anything--which was uncertain. For his memories which had in his younger
days glistened in his thought like a mosaic of eroticism, had of late
blurred to a monotone. He could remember women, liaisons, passion
phrases and great enthusiasms but, curiously, they seemed all identical.
To recall how one woman had sighed in his arms was to recall the whole
pack of them. As if the souls of his paramours and the manner of their
surrenders were contained completely in the recollection of any one
detail.
But despite his ennui, this moment of approach still delighted him. The
woman hurrying to his side was not yet a woman. She was still a mystery
whose inevitable and never varying sensualism was masked for a final
instant behind unfamiliar fabrics. There was a piquant unreality, a
diverting strangeness, as she smiled at him. She was somebody he did not
know. He was authentically bored with women. But for the moment it was
not a woman approaching--rather a new color of cloth, a new combination
of dress, a new species of social poise and gesture were presenting
themselves for ravishment. In these unfamiliar surfaces lay a tenuous
mystery as if it were these externals he was about to embrace. And in
the contemplation of this mystery, his interest revived itself. He
sighed. It was a mystery which would vanish shortly.
"Hello, dearest."
He greeted her softly, with regret. A quixotic impulse to turn and walk
away before she spoke had died in him.
Fanny was staring expectantly. He was familiar with the expression. Not
in her, but in others. This took away its charms. Married women were
nearly all alike. Full of distressing short cuts, with an irritating and
incongruous professionalism behind their bewilderment. What dolts
husbands must be to blunt women like that.
As he took her hand and felt her fingers clutch excitedly around his
palm he remembered in an instant the predecessors of her type. Full of
distressing short cuts. When they gave their hands they withheld
nothing. They denuded themselves with a look, with a handclasp. And the
subtlety of skirmishing seemed entirely foreign to them. When they
embraced it was with an appalling directness. Yes, in intrigue they were
all alike--all like precocious children; vague, bewildered children
mimicking the precisions of their elders and exclaiming with distressful
incongruity:
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