"Oh please ... don't!"
Her objection seemed to inspire him in a way her previous silences had
failed to do. He grew indignant.
"Please, don't!"
"But why, dearest? I love you."
She paused and he looked at her, aloof arguments in his eyes as if he
were pleading not in his own behalf but in behalf of--a somebody else, a
client. His knees were trembling under her weight. The crusade had
disappeared. A memory of it lingered but in an amusing way. He caught a
glimpse of the headlines on his desk and grinned. There was something
maliciously unreal about life that one could enjoy.
Suddenly he felt her soften. Her lips brushed against his ear and her
arm tightened convulsively around him.
"Please no," she murmured.
Her alarm delighted him. It was a final barrier, this alarm. It enabled
him to enjoy the new conquest without having to be logical, without
having to go on. Her alarm now was a barrier to be played with for a
moment and then utilized. He would stop in a moment but now he could
play with her fear, as if he were intent upon overcoming it.
"Please," she whispered, "don't ... it's no use."
The final words irritated him. No use! He felt offended, as if he had
been trickily defeated in an argument. What was no use? What did she
mean?
"George, please, listen to me. Oh please...."
That was better. But it had come just in time. He could retreat now with
honor. For an instant a panic had filled him. Impossible to retreat on
the explanation "it's no use." Because--well, because the words were a
challenge, not an attack. But now it was easy. He stiffened in his
chair. Ruth slipped from his lap and stood up, flushed. She straightened
her hair and looked away. Basine felt annoyed with her. She had almost
taken him by surprise. She had almost surrendered when the tactics of
the game called for her to protest and thus cover his retreat by making
it the result of her protests. And not of his--well, of his
determination not to forget his position.
But he would restore the tactic she had momentarily abandoned.
"Excuse me," he muttered, a plea in his voice, "I didn't realize. I
didn't realize what I was doing. Forgive me, dearest."
He recovered his sense of self respect that, oddly enough, had deserted
him, in making this apology. The apology meant that he had ceased only
because she had protested too violently. And not because he had been
afraid.
Ruth listened with a faint smile on her moist lips. She wanted to laugh.
"I didn't mean anything--really," he was saying. "You must forgive me.
Come here--please." An air of soothing innocence rose from his voice and
manner. He was reassuring her that he wasn't dangerous, that he wouldn't
repeat these intimacies. The desire to laugh continued in her. Excuse
him! For what? The laugh almost left her throat. She had given herself
to him ... and he had solemnly retreated for no reason at all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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