The assurance did not delight her. Marriage was something foreign. But
she stood up when he asked her to and followed him. She walked along
thinking of herself as if there were two Ruths. One was walking with a
man--where? The other was thinking about things. But there was little to
think about. If it had been Basine instead of this other, it would have
been nicer. Basine was someone she knew. Paul was a stranger. But Basine
had played with her. He had said nothing when she went away. Merely
looked at her and nodded. His success had gone to his head. He didn't
want her, even to flirt with anymore. He was too busy....
She put her arms around the stranger and wept.
It was minor tragedy. There was nothing to weep about. Nobody cared what
happened to her. If there had been somebody who cared she would never
have met him.
Schroder watched her and sighed.
"If you don't love me," he said.
"It's not that," she answered. She was forgetting about her tears. Her
close presence to him was slowly preoccupying her. He loved her. And
they would be married. It didn't matter much. But the idea made it a
little easier. She kissed him, timidly at first. And then with passion.
Schroder grimaced inwardly. It was dark and she couldn't see his eyes.
They were worried. He had been in love for a few minutes in the park. He
would have liked to remain in love. He sat before the window thinking,
Why did women insist on climaxes. Their arguments made it necessary for
men to plead. The culmination was a sort of logical gesture.
He walked toward her. He would take her hand and make love. He felt sad
and making love out of sadness was always an interesting diversion.
"Ruth," he whispered, "do you love me?"
She answered by embracing him.
"Always the same," he murmured to himself, "it's no use."
22
The children were asleep and Henrietta was reading. Basine in his
slippers and smoking-jacket sat unoccupied. Their new house worried him.
He had not yet familiarized himself with its shadows.
He smiled as he watched his wife. He was going to run for Senator but
that made no difference to her. He was a husband to her, and everything
else was incidental. He thought of Ruth. Her name no longer depressed
him. During the first three or four months that followed her absence he
had felt as if his career had ended. There was nobody to succeed for any
more. Then through Doris he had learned that she was to marry Schroder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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