"The little finger of one intelligent man is worth the whole of the
French revolution," she was saying excitedly. "You're no different from
the other cowards who devote themselves to flattering the monster. You
know what I mean. The monster rewards liars and flatterers. All you have
to do to be great in the eyes of the world is to celebrate the glories
of the monster. To make a lickspittle of your genius. It's an old and
easy formula. Why don't you think? You stand up with your eyes closed
and sing about things that never existed--about the beauty of people and
... and...."
Lindstrum thrust his face close to her. She paused. A desire to laugh
came as she stared at the too familiar features of the man. This was the
face she had held in her hands and covered with kisses. Nights of
passion and adoration had been shared with this face. Now it held itself
savagely before her and grew blurred. Something had been destroyed in
it. It was no longer familiar. It was somebody else's face....
"People," it said as if it were going to spit at her. "Yes, like you
say. Think about them! God damn...."
"Lief," she murmured.
"Don't call me Lief...." He glowered closer.
"Oh! Then you're angry. Well, I didn't expect you to agree." She made
her voice tender now. She did not want his face unfamiliar like this as
if she had never held it in her hands and covered it with kisses.
But he continued to thrust himself unfamiliarly before her.
"Yes, I agree about the crowd," he answered, his eyes swinging over her
head, his jaws still working. "I agree. You got 'em right. Down in the
mud of themselves. And me with them, do you hear that! Me singing with
'em. Get me, now. I'm going to tell you."
She moved away from this unfamiliar face but it came closer again.
"I don't want any of your brains. Not for mine. I want to be like I am.
This beast you talk about.... That's me. He can't talk or reason.... All
right. He won't then. But he'll do something else. He'll live. He'll go
on living. Yes," he raised his voice to a shout, "I agree with you.
Because I'm the crowd. Do you get that ... you dirty ... you dirty fool
... you...."
The oath brought his passion into his head. His hand clenched and his
fist shot into her face. She staggered away from him, calling his name.
He watched her fall against a couch. A rage cried in him. He was a liar,
was he? And a coward? All right. He was. Look out for all liars and
cowards then. He walked toward the couch and stood above her. What did
she want of him? She wanted something. Tears filled him. People ...
people that sweated and grunted and crawled around like beasts and
raised their eyes at night to the stars.... This monster she gabbed
about, this thing without hands or eyes. That was it.
She was crying on the couch. All right. Let her. But she was crying
because she wanted something.... His hands grabbed her head and
straightened her face until their eyes were looking into each other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account