General Bounce; Or, The Lady and the LocustsWhyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
General
General Bounce; Or, The Lady and the Locusts
Whyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Now, Mr. Fibbes had observed, by hanging about Grosvenor Square and
making use of his early education, that Major D’Orville was a constant
visitant at a certain house in that locality; indeed, on more than one
occasion he had held the white horse at the very door which was
honoured by the egress and ingress of Blanche Kettering herself. We
may be sure he lost no time in discovering the name of the owner, and
mastering such particulars of her fortune, position, general habits,
and appearance as were attainable through the all-powerful influence
of beer; so when Tom Blacke made his ill-advised confidences to his
boon companion, omitting neither names, facts, nor dates, Mr. Fibbes,
who, to use his own words, was “not such a fool as he looked,” put
_that_ and _that_ together quite satisfactorily enough, to be sure he
had some information well worth a good round douceur, for the ear of
his friend the Major. And he waylaid him in consequence, the first
sunshiny afternoon on which, according to his wont, D’Orville appeared
in the neighbourhood of his lady-love’s domicile.
“Want yer horse held, Major?” said he, leaning his huge, dirty hand on
the white charger’s mane. “Haven’t seen your honour since we won so
cleverly at Hampton--no offence, Major!”
“None whatever, my good fellow,” said the Major, who, by the way, was
never in a hurry, though few men loved going _fast_ better; “none
whatever; but I’m busy now, I’ve no time to stop. Good-day to you.”
“Well, but, Major, see,” pleaded Mr. Fibbes, still smoothing the white
horse’s mane, “I’ve got something at my place you _would_ like to look
at--she’s a _real_ beauty, she is--I refused five sovereigns for her
this blessed mornin’; for I said, says I, no, says I, not till the
Major has seen her, ’cause she _is_ a rare one--not that you care for
such in a general way, Major, but if once you clapped eyes on
‘Jessie,’ you’d never rest till you got her down at the barracks. I
never see such a one.”
“Such a what?” inquired D’Orville, gradually waxing curious about such
manifold perfections.
“Why, such an out-an’-outer,” retorted Mr. Fibbes, half angrily; “none
of your _brindles_--I can’t abide a brindle--they may be good, but
they look so _wulgar_. No, no, Jessie’s none of your brindles.”
“Well, but _what_ is she, my good fellow?” said the Major; “I can’t
stay here all day.”
“_Bul_,” replied Mr. Fibbes, throwing into the monosyllable an
expression of mingled anger and contempt, which, having given the
Major sufficient time to digest, he followed up by the real topic on
which he was anxious to enlarge. “No offence, Major,” he repeated,
“but I’ve got something else to say--you’ll excuse me, sir--but you’ve
stood a friend to me, and I won’t see you put upon. Major, there’s a
screw loose here--it’s not _on the square_, you understand.”
“What do you mean?” said the Major, amused in spite of himself, at the
ungainly nods and winks with which Mr. Fibbes eked out his mysterious
communication.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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