General Bounce; Or, The Lady and the LocustsWhyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
General
General Bounce; Or, The Lady and the Locusts
Whyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
No place makes a man forget his years so much as London. In the great
city, one unit of that circling population rapidly loses his
individuality. There nothing seems extraordinary--nothing seems out of
the common course of events--there, it is proverbial, people of all
pretensions immediately find their own level. If a man thinks he is
wiser, or better, or cleverer, or handsomer, or stronger, or more
famous than his neighbours, in London he will be sure to meet those
who can equal, if not excel him, in all for which he gives himself
credit; and so if an elderly gentleman begins to feel at his
country-place that all around him speaks of maturity, not to say
decay--that his young trees, and his old buildings, and his missing
contemporaries, and the boy to whom he gave apples standing for the
county, and the village he remembers a hamlet growing into a town, and
all such progressive arrangements of Father Time, hint rather
personally at old-fellowhood--let him come to London, and take his
diversion amongst a crowd of fools more ancient than himself: he will
feel a boy again--Regent Street will not appear altered to his
enchanted eye, though they _have_ taken down the colonnade in that
well-remembered thoroughfare. Pall Mall is as much Pall Mall to him as
it was when he trod it in considerably tighter boots, never mind how
many years ago. At his club the same waiter (waiters never die) will
bring him the paper, and stir the fire for him, just as he used to do
when the Reform Bill was a thing unheard of, and he can contemplate
his bald head in the very same mirror that once reflected locks of
Hyacinthine cluster. He meets an old crony, and he is shocked (though
but for the moment) to find him so dreadfully altered--it is possible
the old crony, in his heart of hearts, may return the compliment, but
in all human probability he will greet the friend of his boyhood as if
he had seen him the day before yesterday. If a very demonstrative man,
and it should be before two o’clock in the day--for in the afternoon
our English manners are all squared to the same pattern--the old crony
may perhaps exclaim, with languid rapture, “Why, I haven’t seen you
_for ages_; I don’t think you were in London _all_ last season!” Why
should our gentleman from the country undeceive him, and tell him they
have not met for more than twenty years, and remind him with
mellowing heart of boyhood’s sunny hours and joyous escapades? The old
crony will only think him _a twaddle_ and _a bore_, and thank his
stars that he has stuck to London and the world, and his gods, such as
they are, and is a much _younger_ man of his age than his rustic
friend. And so our country mouse will find in a day or two that the
artificial sits quite as easily upon _him_. When he has visited two or
three of his old haunts he will feel as if he had never left them. He
will go, perhaps, to some well-remembered palace of revelry, and find
there, it may be, one contemporary out of a hundred with whom he once
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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