General Bounce; Or, The Lady and the LocustsWhyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
General
General Bounce; Or, The Lady and the Locusts
Whyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“Hecho,” replied Mr. Fibbes, accounting for the phenomenon by natural
causes, but prefixing a superfluous aspirate to the name of the
invisible nymph. “Hecho,” said he; “I’ve often knowed it
so--’specially at night. But, Tom, what’s up, man? blessed if you
ain’t a-shakin’ all over,--have a drain, man, have a drain!” and the
never-failing remedy was forthwith produced in a goodly case-bottle
from the great-coat pocket. Nor did the doctor neglect his own
prescription, and much refreshed the twain proceeded on their way. A
slight difficulty occurred in scaling the park-railings, Mr. Fibbes
affirming with many oaths that nothing but his weight and the age of
his nether garments saved him from being impaled there for life; and
the tremendous disturbance occasioned by a panic-stricken
cock-pheasant compelled a halt of several minutes’ duration, lest the
inmates of the Hall should have been aroused by the vociferous
rooster. All was at length still--the church clock at Guyville chimed
the half-hour after one. The night grew more cloudy, and the wind died
away into a low, moaning whisper. The pair stole across the lawn, like
two foul shades returning to the nether world. A heavy foot-mark
crushed Blanche’s last pet geranium into the mould. Tom shook like an
aspen leaf, much to the covert indignation of Mr. Fibbes, and they
reached the scullery window unheard and unsuspected.
“Gently, now!” Why does Tom shake so, and even Mr. Fibbes, with his
bull strength and iron nerves, feel so ill at ease, so willing even
now to go back a guiltless trespasser, and leave the job undone? But
no--it has been boasted of in anticipation at their flash resorts;
what would the professionals think? Why, the very detectives would
sneer to learn that “Leary Tom” and “the Battersea Big ’un” had been
frightened at their own shadows, and after a long journey into
the country had returned bootyless to London, the sleepers
undisturbed--the “crib uncracked.” “Gently, again!”--a jackdaw on the
roof brings their hearts into their mouths; were it not for the
case-bottle they would “drop it” even now. Another pause, and Mr.
Fibbes, summoning all his energies, proceeds to act. Gently and
stealthily he produces the brown paper, and the treacle with which it
is to be smeared. Lightly he applies it to the selected pane, Tom
turning the dark-lantern deftly on the job. How ghastly the white face
on which a chance ray happens to gleam! Warily--gradually--the heavy
hand presses harder, harder still, and the glass gives way; but the
faithful treacle absorbs every stray fragment, and not a particle
reaches the ground either without or within. Fortune favours the
rogues; the shutters have not been put up. They are in for it now, and
both gather confidence, Mr. Fibbes assuming the initiative. A large
dirty hand gropes through the broken pane, and the hasp of the window
is moved cautiously back; but with all their care it gives a slight
click, and again they pause and listen with beating hearts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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