General Bounce; Or, The Lady and the LocustsWhyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
General
General Bounce; Or, The Lady and the Locusts
Whyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Meanwhile the eventful Friday has arrived which has promoted “Cousin
Charlie” to the rank of manhood. The _Gazette_ of that day has
announced the appointment of “Charles Kettering, Gentleman, to be
Cornet in the 20th Lancers, vice Slack, who retires,” and the young
one, who has been cultivating the down on his upper lip for months, in
anticipation of this triumph, turns up those ends, of which there is
scarcely enough to take hold, and revels in the consciousness that he
is a boy no longer, but an officer, a cavalry officer, and a
gentleman. Old Nobottle, whom the pupil has attached to himself as an
imaginative boy often does a sober old gentleman, is of the same mind,
and has confided to Mr. Hardingstone his opinion of Charlie, and the
bright deeds he expects from him. “The lad has all the makings of a
soldier, sir,” said the clergyman; “the cheerful spirits, the gallant
bearing, the love of action, and the chivalrous vanity--half
courageous, half coxcombical--which form the military character; and
if he has a chance, he will distinguish himself. _If_ he has a chance,
do I say? he’ll make himself a chance, sir; the boy is cut out for a
recruit, and he’ll learn his drill and know his men, and keep his
troop-accounts smarter than any of ’em.” Nobottle was waxing
enthusiastic, as the old recollections stole over him, and he saw, in
fancy, a certain young artillery officer, gay amongst the gayest, and
brave amongst the bravest, consulted by his seniors for his science
and professional knowledge, and thanked in general orders for “his
distinguished gallantry” in more than one decisive action. How
different from the slouching, slovenly old man, in yesterday’s white
neckcloth, who may now be seen budding his roses, poking about his
parish, and stuffing stupid young gentlemen with as much learning as
shall enable them to pass their dreaded examinations. Poor old
Nobottle, you _would_ marry for love, you _would_ sacrifice your
profession and your commission, your prospects and your all, for the
red-nosed lady, then, to do her justice, a very pretty girl, who now
occupies the top of your table. Like Antony, you were “all for love
and the world well lost,” and, after a time, you found that the
exchange was against you: what you took for gold turned out to be
dross,--that which was honey in the mouth became bitter as gall in the
digestion; in short, you discovered Mrs. N. was a failure, and that
you did not care two pins for each other. Then came poverty and
recrimination and the gnawing remorse of chances thrown away, that
could not possibly recur again. Fortunately for you, a classical
education and Church interest enabled you to take orders and get a
living, so you work on, contentedly enough, now that your sensations
are deadened and yourself half torpid; and although, when your better
feelings obtain the mastery, you cannot but acknowledge the
superiority of the present warfare in which you are engaged over that
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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