"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So then they started in to playing Kiki but it seems that it was not
the same kind of a Kiki that we have in America, because it seemed to
be all about a family of large size German people who seemed to keep
getting in each others ways. I mean when a stage is completely full of
2 or 3 German people who are quite large size, they really cannot help
it if they seem to get in each others ways. So then Dorothy got to
talking with a young gentleman who seemed to be a German gentleman who
sat back of her, who she thought was applauding. But what he was really
doing was he was cracking a hard boiled egg on the back of her chair.
So he talked English with quite an accent that seemed to be quite a
German accent. So Dorothy asked him if Kiki had come out on the stage
yet. So he said no, but she was really a beautiful german actress who
came clear from Berlin and he said we should really wait until she came
out, even if we did not seem to understand it. So finally she came out.
I mean we knew it was her because Dorothy’s German gentleman friend
nudged Dorothy with a sausage. So we looked at her, and we looked at
her and Dorothy said, “If Schuman Heinke still has a grandmother, we
have dug her up in Munchen.” So we did not bother to see any more of
Kiki because Dorothy said she would really have to know more about the
foundations of that building before she would risk our lives to see
Kiki do that famous scene where she faints in the last act. Because
Dorothy said, if the foundations of that building were as anteek as the
smell, there was going to be a catasterophy when Kiki hit the floor. So
even Mr. Spoffard was quite discouradged, but he was really glad
because he said he was 100 per cent. of an American and it served the
Germans right for starting such a war against all we Americans.
May 20th:
Well today Mr. Spoffard is going to take me all around to all of the
museums in Munchen, which are full of kunst that I really ought to look
at, but Dorothy said she had been punished for all of her sins last
night, so now she is going to begin life all over again by going out
with her German gentleman friend, who is going to take her to a house
called the Half Brow house which is the worlds largest size of a Beer
Hall. So Dorothy said I could be a high brow and get full of kunst, but
she is satisfide to be a Half brow and get full of beer. But Dorothy
will really never be full of anything else but unrefinement.
May 21st:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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