"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So then Henry said that he would have to go back to Pennsylvania to
talk to his father about us getting married, because his father has
really got his heart set on us not getting married. So I told Henry
that perhaps if I would meet his father, I would win him over, because
I always seem to win gentlemen over. But Henry says that that is just
the trouble, because some girl is always winning his father over, and
they hardly dare to let him go out of their sight, and they hardly dare
let him go to church alone. Because the last time he went to church
alone some girl won him over on the street corner and he arrived back
home with all of his pocket money gone, and they could not believe him
when he said that he had put it in the plate, because he has not put
more than a dime in the plate for the last fifty years.
So it seems that the real reason why his father does not want Henry to
marry me, is because his father says that Henry always has all of the
fun, and every time Henry’s father wants to have some fun of his own,
Henry always stops him and Henry will not even let him be sick at a
hospital where he could have some fun of his own, but he keeps him at
home where he has to have a nurse Henry picked out for him who is a
male nurse. So all of his objections seem to be nothing but the spirit
of resiprosity. But Henry says that all his objections cannot last much
longer because he is nearly 90 years of age after all, and Nature must
take its course sooner or later.
So Dorothy says what a fool I am to waste my time on Henry, when I
might manage to meet Henry’s father and the whole thing would be over
in a few months and I would practically own the state of Pennsylvania.
But I do not think I ought to take Dorothy’s advise because Henry’s
father is watched like a hawk and Henry himself is his Power of
Attorney, so no good could really come of it after all. And, after all,
why should I listen to the advise of a girl like Dorothy who travelled
all over Europe and all she came home with was a bangle!
So Henry spent the evening at the apartment and then he had to go back
to Pennsylvania to be there Thursday morning, because every Thursday
morning he belongs to a society who do nothing but senshure all of the
photoplays. So they cut out all of the pieces out of all the photoplays
that show things that are riskay, that people ought not to look at. So
then they put all of the riskay pieces together and they run them over
and over again. So it would really be quite a hard thing to drag Henry
away from one of his Thursday mornings and he can hardly wait from one
Thursday morning to another. Because he really does not seem to enjoy
anything so much as senshuring photoplays and after a photoplay has
once been senshured he seems to lose all of his interest in it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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