"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So I really had to apologise to Dorothy about asking Joe Sanguinetti to
my debut because it was wonderful the way he got all of the liquor to
the party and he more than kept his word. I mean he had his bootleggers
run up from the wharf in taxis, right to the apartment, and the only
trouble he had was, that once the bootleggers delivered the liquor, he
could not get them to leave the party. So finally there was quite a
little quarrel because Willie Gwynn claimed that Joe’s bootleggers were
snubbing the members of his club because they would not let the boys
from the Racquet club sing in their quartet. But Joe’s bootleggers said
that the Racquet club boys wanted to sing songs that were unrefined,
while they wanted to sing songs about Mother. So then everybody started
to take sides, but the girls from the Follies were all with Joe’s
bootleggers from the start because practically all we girls were
listening to them with tears steaming from our eyes. So that made the
Racquet club jealous and one thing led to another until somebody rang
for an ambulants and then the police came in.
So Dorothy, as usual, won over all of the police. So it seems that the
police all have orders from Judge Schultzmeyer, who is the famous judge
who tries all of the prohibition cases, that any time they break into a
party that looks like it was going to be a good party, to call him up
no matter what time of the day or night it is, because Judge
Schultzmeyer dearly loves a party. So the Police called up Judge
Schultzmeyer and he was down in less than no time. So during the party
both Joe Sanguinetti and Judge Schultzmeyer fell madly in love with
Dorothy. So Joe and the Judge had quite a little quarrel and the Judge
told Joe that if his stuff was fit to drink he would set the Law after
him and confiscate it, but his stuff was not worth the while of any
gentleman to confiscate who had any respect for his stomach, and he
would not lower himself to confiscate it. So along about nine o’clock
in the morning Judge Schultzmeyer had to leave the party and go to
court to try all of the criminals who break all of the laws, so he had
to leave Dorothy and Joe together and he was very very angry. And I
really felt quite sorry for any person who went up before Judge
Schultzmeyer that morning, because he gave everybody 90 days and was
back at the party by twelve o’clock. So then he stuck to the party
until we were all going down to Long Beach to take a swim day before
yesterday when he seemed to become unconscious, so we dropped him off
at a sanitorium in Garden City.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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