"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So Henry was waiting in the dining room with his sister and that was
when I met his sister. So it seems that Henry’s sister has never been
the same since the war, because she never had on a man’s collar and a
necktie until she drove an ambulants in the war, and now they cannot
get her to take them off. Because ever since the armistice Henry’s
sister seems to have the idea that regular womens clothes are
effiminate. So Henry’s sister seems to think of nothing but either
horses or automobiles and when she is not in a garage the only other
place she is happy in is a stable. I mean she really pays very little
attention to all of her family and she seems to pay less attention to
Henry than anybody else because she seems to have the idea that Henry’s
brains are not so viril. So then we all waited for Henry’s father to
come in so that he could read the Bible out loud before breakfast.
So then something happened that really was a miracle. Because it seems
that Henry’s father has practically lived in a wheel chair for months
and months and his male nurse has to wheel him everywhere. So his male
nurse wheeled him into the dining room in his wheel chair and then
Henry said “Father, this is going to be your little daughter in law,”
and Henry’s father took one good look at me and got right out of his
wheel chair and walked! So then everybody was very very surprised, but
Henry was not so surprised because Henry knows his father like a book.
So then they all tried to calm his father down, and his father tried to
read out of the Bible but he could hardly keep his mind on the Bible
and he could hardly eat a bite because when a gentleman is as feeble as
Henry’s father is, he cannot keep one eye on a girl and the other eye
on his cereal and cream without coming to grief. So Henry finally
became quite discouradged and he told his father he would have to get
back to his room or he would have a relapse. So then the male nurse
wheeled him back to his room and it really was pathetic because he
cried like a baby. So I got to thinking over what Dorothy advised me
about Henry’s father and I really got to thinking that if Henry’s
father could only get away from everybody and have some time of his
own, Dorothy’s advise might not be so bad after all.
So after breakfast we all got ready to go to church, but Henry’s sister
does not go to church because Henry’s sister always likes to spend
every Sunday in the garage taking their Ford farm truck apart and
putting it back together again, and Henry says that what the war did to
a girl like his sister is really worse than the war itself.
So then Henry and his mother and I all went to church. So we came home
from church and we had luncheon and it seems that luncheon is
practically the same as breakfast except that Henry’s father could not
come down to luncheon because after he met me he contracted such a
vialent fever that they had to send for the Doctor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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