These friends will smiling bring it, and the while You silent sit, and practise for a smile. Vain of their power, and of their value sure, They nearly guess the tortures you endure; Nor spare one pang--for they perceive your heart Goes with the cause; you'd die before you'd start; Do what they may, they're sure you'll not offend Men who have pledged their honours to your friend. Those friends indeed, who start as in a race, May love the sport, and laugh at this disgrace; 70 They have in view the glory and the prize, Nor heed the dirty steps by which they rise: But we, their poor associates, lose the fame, Though more than partners in the toil and shame. Were this the whole, and did the time produce But shame and toil, but riot and abuse: We might be then from serious griefs exempt, And view the whole with pity and contempt, Alas! but here the vilest passions rule; It is Seduction's, is Temptation's school: 80 Where vices mingle in the oddest ways, The grossest slander and the dirtiest praise; Flattery enough to make the vainest sick, And clumsy stratagem, and scoundrel trick. Nay more, your anger and contempt to cause, These, while they fish for profit, claim applause; Bribed, bought and bound, they banish shame and fear; Tell you they're stanch, and have a soul sincere; Then talk of honour, and, if doubt's express'd, Show where it lies, and smite upon the breast. 90 Among these worthies, some at first declare For whom they vote; he then has most to spare. Others hang off--when coming to the post Is spurring time, and then he'll spare the most; While some, demurring, wait, and find at last The bidding languish, and the market pass'd; These will affect all bribery to condemn, And, be it Satan laughs, he laughs at them. Some too are pious--one desired the Lord To teach him where "to drop his little word; 100 To lend his vote, where it will profit best; Promotion came not from the east or west; But as their freedom had promoted some, He should be glad to know which way 'twould come, It was a naughty world, and, where to sell His precious charge, was more than he could tell." "But you succeeded?"--true, at mighty cost; And our good friend, I fear, will think he's lost. Inns, horses, chaises, dinners, balls and notes; What fill'd their purses, and what drench'd their throats; 110 The private pension, and indulgent lease, Have all been granted to these friends who fleece-- Friends who will hang like burs upon his coat, And boundless judge the value of a vote. And, though the terrors of the time be pass'd, There still remain the scatterings of the blast. The boughs are parted that entwined before, And ancient harmony exists no more; The gusts of wrath our peaceful seats deform,