Now sing, my Muse, what various parts compose These rival sheets of politics and prose. First, from each brother's hoard a part they draw, A mutual theft that never fear'd a law; Whate'er they gain, to each man's portion fall, And read it once, you read it through them all: 290 For this their runners ramble day and night, To drag each lurking deed to open light; For daily bread the dirty trade they ply, Coin their fresh tales, and live upon the lie. Like bees for honey, forth for news they spring-- Industrious creatures! ever on the wing; Home to their several cells they bear the store, Cull'd of all kinds, then roam abroad for more. No anxious virgin flies to "fair Tweed-side"; No injured husband mourns his faithless bride; 300 No duel dooms the fiery youth to bleed, But through the town transpires each vent'rous deed. Should some fair frail-one drive her prancing pair, Where rival peers contend to please the fair; When, with new force, she aids her conquering eyes, And beauty decks with all that beauty buys-- Quickly we learn whose heart her influence feels, Whose acres melt before her glowing wheels. To these a thousand idle themes succeed, Deeds of all kinds, and comments to each deed. 310 Here stocks, the state-barometers, we view, That rise or fall, by causes known to few; Promotion's ladder who goes up or down; Who wed, or who seduced, amuse the town; What new-born heir has made his father blest; What heir exults, his father now at rest; That ample list the Tyburn-herald gives, And each known knave, who still for Tyburn lives. So grows the work, and now the printer tries His powers no more, but leans on his allies. 320 When, lo! the advertising tribe succeed, Pay to be read, yet find but few will read; And chief th' illustrious race, whose drops and pills Have patent powers to vanquish human ills: These, with their cures, a constant aid remain, To bless the pale composer's fertile brain; Fertile it is, but still the noblest soil Requires some pause, some intervals from toil; And they at least a certain ease obtain From Katterfelto's skill, and Graham's glowing strain. 330