Caricatures and cartoons -- Great Britain; English wit and humor; English wit and humor, Pictorial
Collins, the page, was but the folly of a day; he speedily disappeared;
yet there remained for some time in the heart of his mistress a lurking
desire to engraft a few of the best London usages upon the more
substantial country customs, and if not to keep pace with the spirit
of the present age, at least to emerge out of the deep recesses of the
past. Robin, the successor of Collins, was a victim to this spirit of
innovation. He was a rustic of one idea; which was, to do whatever he was
ordered as well as he could. If told to make haste, he would simply start
off at the top of his speed; if told to fly, he would assuredly attempt
with his arms and coatflaps an imitation of the action of a bird, and fly
as well as he was able. He understood all instructions literally; Robin
had no imagination. To bring in everything upon a waiter, was an order
he could easily comprehend; mistake was impossible. "Well, I declare!"
cried Mrs. N. to some visitors one morning, "you haven't yet seen my
pets;" (some pups of an illustrious breed, that had just seen the light;)
"Robin, bring in the pets--they are miracles." There was considerable
delay, however, in the execution of this order; and more than one inquiry
went forth, why Robin did not bring in the pups. At last, when curiosity
was at its height, and expectation on tiptoe, Robin did contrive, after a
"to do" outside the door, to make a formal appearance with the pups, and
to explain the delay:--"Here be pups, ma'am, only dang it they won't keep
on waiter."
[Illustration]
Where the squire picked up the Imperturbable who came next, I never
understood. At this distance of time it is not unreasonable to doubt
whether he was in reality a human being; he might have been a talking
automaton. He never appeared to have "organs, dimensions, senses,
affections, passions;" he seemed to be simply a thing of clock-work.
"Master wants a bit more muffin," or "The ice has broke and master's
drownded in the pond," would be uttered by him in exactly the same formal
tone of voice, with exactly the same stiff and deliberate air. It was all
one to him whether he had to announce--"There's a cricket-match on the
common," or "the French have landed." Never shall I forget his walking
into the room one day, an hour after dinner, and fixing himself beside
his master's chair while the squire was telling us one of his sporting
stories which were sometimes rather long; waiting patiently until the
close for the signal to proceed, and then when the Squire had turned
round leisurely to know what he wanted, saying in his slow tone, "When
I went up stairs, sir, a little while ago, the house was a-fire! It's
burning now."
[Illustration]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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