Gerald Eversley's Friendship: A Study in Real LifeWelldon, J. E. C. (James Edward Cowell)
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Gerald Eversley's Friendship: A Study in Real Life
Welldon, J. E. C. (James Edward Cowell)
Endowed public schools (Great Britain) -- Fiction; Friendship in youth -- Fiction
The influence of her words and her example upon Gerald Eversley’s life
was surprising. He has left no record to account for it; but there
is no doubt of it. He had accumulated facts and arguments against
religion, and they fell away. In the presence of this simple fervent
soul he stood abashed. He was her superior intellectually; he could
easily have confuted her in argument. But it was nothing that she said,
it was she herself that made the change in him. He felt as if he were
becoming a Christian again despite himself. His old boyish feeling for
religion began to revive. Once more he could breathe a prayer and not
wholly despair of its being heard--that most moving of prayers, ‘Lord,
I believe; help thou mine unbelief.’ He accompanied her to the village
church. The sight of her face there, far removed from earthly thoughts,
upraised to heaven, irradiate with the glow of a divine sanctity, was a
lesson to him, a revelation. A new life awoke within him. He began to
be happy again. The discords of his nature were harmonised. He was at
peace. He owed his conversion (if it may be so called) not to reading,
not to reasoning, but to the magic of a pure and holy life.
Was it only religion that worked this sudden change in him? Was there
not springing up in his heart another sentiment, not alien from
religion and yet not a part of it, a sentiment which he could not deny,
yet dared not confess, even to himself?
It is dangerous when young souls, a youth and a maiden, are thrown
together a great deal without restraint. Nature has a strange way of
evolving sympathies and discovering affinities. ‘The way of a man
with a maid’ is still one of the things that no one understands. And
when a man does not want to confess the truth, it is so easy for him
to deceive himself--so much easier than to deceive others--by calling
his sentiment kindness, friendship, sympathy, brotherly interest,
anything in fact but just the thing that it is, and by pretending to
himself that it is only to help or encourage another or to give her
advice that he is found so often at her side. Could Gerald have been
told a few months or weeks before that he was falling in love with
Ethel Venniker, he would have said _No_, it was impossible, she was too
far above him, he could never win her, never be worthy of her; but his
heart would perhaps have whispered _Yes_. What could he give her upon
which she would not have looked disdainfully--he a poor clergyman’s
son, isolated now from his home, without rank, without money, without
hope of influence, not knowing as yet how he should make his way in
the world? Ah! but there is only one thing that love asks for, and it
is what everyone, even the poorest, can give--it is the heart. Rich or
poor, high or low, rash, methinks, is the man or woman who disdains the
infinite treasure of another’s heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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