He attempted to say something or other, but she did not give him a
chance to speak. "I really believe, Botho, my sister Ina has taken your
fancy and it is of no use your trying to comfort me by saying that she
is only a little half-grown girl or not much more. Those are always the
most dangerous. Don't you think so? Now I am not going to take any
notice and I do not grudge it to you or to her. But I am very jealous
about old affairs of long ago, far, far more jealous than of things
that may happen now."
"How curious," said Botho, and tried to laugh.
"And yet after all it is not so curious as it may look," Katherine went
on. "Don't you see, affairs that are going on now one has almost under
one's eyes; and it must be a hard case and an arch deceiver, if one
should notice nothing and so be completely betrayed. But there is no
control possible over old stories; there might be a thousand and three,
and one might hardly know it."
"And what one does not know ..."
"May make one's anger grow. But let us drop all this and read me
something more from the paper. I was reminded constantly of our
Kluckhuhns. And the good wife can't understand it, and the oldest boy
is just going to the University."
Such incidents happened more and more frequently and led Botho to
recall old times as well as Lena's image; but he never saw her, which
surprised him, because he knew that they were almost neighbors.
This surprised him and yet it would have been easily explained had he
promptly ascertained that Frau Nimptsch and Lena were no longer living
at the old place. And yet this was the case. From the day when she had
met the young couple on the Luetzowstrasse, Lena had told her old mother
that she could no longer stay in the Doerr's house. And when Mother
Nimptsch, who used never to contradict her, shook her head and
whimpered and continually pointed to the fireplace, Lena said: "Mother,
you know me. I will never rob you of your open fire; you shall have
everything again that you have had; I have saved up money enough for
it, and even if I had not, I would work until I had got it together.
But we must get away from here. Every day I should have to pass that
way, and I could never stand it, mother. I do not grudge him his
happiness, and what is more, I am glad that he has it. God is my
witness, for he was a dear, good man and lived only for my sake; no
pride, no stinginess. And I will say it right out, for all that I
cannot bear fine gentlemen, he is a real nobleman, and his heart is in
the right place. Yes, my dear Botho, you must be happy, as happy as you
deserve to be. But I cannot bear to see it, mother, I must get away
from here, for I cannot take ten steps without imagining that he is
right there before me. And that keeps me all in a tremble. No, no, it
will never do. But you shall have your fireplace. I am your Lena, and I
promise you that."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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