German wit and humor : $b A collection from various sources classified under appropriate subject headingsDownes, Minna Sophie Marie Baumann
General
German wit and humor : $b A collection from various sources classified under appropriate subject headings
Downes, Minna Sophie Marie Baumann
German wit and humor
The Prussian Ambassador at the Court of England, wrote to Frederick the
Great that his salary being insufficient, he would be compelled to sell
his carriage and go to Court on foot. The King answered laconically: “You
can just walk; it won’t hurt you. If anybody makes a remark about it, you
can tell them you are my ambassador, and 300,000 men are walking behind
you.”
No Suggestions Wanted
From the beginning of the War of Independence (1813-14, against Napoleon
I) Field-Marshal Prince Blücher urged the allied powers to go forward
(hence his name, Marshal Vorwärts) and thus created more confusion among
them than among the enemy. But the old soldier did not pay the slightest
attention to that. Once when he received a dispatch to turn back with his
army he growled:
“Those diplomatic fool tricks and this scribbling of notes will have to
be stopped. I shall direct this campaign without notes.”
Cobblers Lacking
Once, while trying to ascertain the enemy’s whereabouts, a bullet struck
Prince Blücher’s foot, but fortunately tore only his boot.
“That’s bad enough,” joked Blücher, “we have a good many more doctors
than cobblers with us.”
Deserved a Title
When presented with a Doctor’s degree at Oxford, Blücher said:
“Well, now, you ought to make Gneisenau at least a druggist, for he made
my pills.”
The Two Moves
After a hard day, Blücher was taking a few hours’ rest. An Adjutant
wakened him to report: “The enemy has made a move!”
“Well,” cried the Prince, “then report to the enemy that I made one too!”
and with this he turned over on his other side.
Another Victory
Blücher was a great lover of music. His favorite pieces electrified him
as often as he heard them, but of them all Mozart’s “Magic Flute” took
first place. While the allies were at Aachen, Angelica Catalani, the
famous singer, aroused everybody’s enthusiasm. The Emperor Alexander of
Russia stood at the head of her admirers, but her acknowledged favorite
was the aged Marshal Vorwärts.
One evening Catalani sang at a large reception and one of her songs
was Papageno’s “Ring, Little Bell, Ring.” Blücher was delighted, and
asked her to sing another of Papageno’s songs, but the singer, greatly
embarrassed, had to confess that she knew no other.
“I can teach you,” said Blücher; “I know every aria in the ‘Magic Flute.’”
“What,” cried Emperor Alexander, “Blücher can sing too? You must give us
a song then!”
The old soldier stood up and began in his rough voice, dreadfully out of
tune, but still recognizable: “The Bird Catcher I Am.”
Emperor Francis listened with visible emotion, the dignified King of
Prussia smiled quietly to himself, while Emperor Alexander laughed as
hard as he could and started a vigorous applause. Blücher, encouraged,
sang again, and wound up with “Bacchus is a Brave Man.” The last number
created such a storm of applause that Catalani said jokingly:
“I can’t compete with old Blücher; he has beaten me, too; he received
more applause than I did.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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