Marriage -- Drama; Married people -- Drama; Weddings -- Drama
THE GENERAL [with crushing stiffness] I was just telling Alice,
sir, that if you entered this house, I should leave it.
REGINALD. Well, dont let me detain you, old chap. When you start
calling people Sir, youre not particularly good company.
LESBIA. Dont you begin to quarrel. That wont improve the
situation.
MRS BRIDGENORTH. I think you might have waited until you got my
answer, Rejjy.
REGINALD. It's so jolly easy to say No in a letter. Wont you let
me stay?
MRS BRIDGENORTH. How can I? Leo's coming.
REGINALD. Well, she wont mind.
THE GENERAL. Wont mind!!!!
LESBIA. Dont talk nonsense, Rejjy; and be off with you.
THE GENERAL [with biting sarcasm] At school you lead a theory
that women liked being knocked down, I remember.
REGINALD. Youre a nice, chivalrous, brotherly sort of swine, you
are.
THE GENERAL. Mr Bridgenorth: are you going to leave this house or
am I?
REGINALD. You are, I hope. [He emphasizes his intention to stay
by sitting down].
THE GENERAL. Alice: will you allow me to be driven from Edith's
wedding by this--
LESBIA [warningly] Boxer!
THE GENERAL. --by this Respondent? Is Edith to be given away by
him?
MRS BRIDGENORTH. Certainly not. Reginald: you were not asked to
come; and I have asked you to go. You know how fond I am of Leo;
and you know what she would feel if she came in and found you
here.
COLLINS [again appearing in the tower] Mrs Reginald, maam.
LESBIA {No, no. Ask her to-- } [All three
MRS BRIDGENORTH {Oh, how unfortunate! } clamoring
THE GENERAL {Well, dash my buttons! } together].
It is too late: Leo is already in the kitchen. Collins goes out,
mutely abandoning a situation which he deplores but has been
unable to save.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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