On the succeeding Sabbath Simeon Samuels was not the only figure in
the synagogue absorbed in devotion. Solomon Barzinsky, Ephraim Mendel,
and Peleg the pawnbroker were all rapt in equal piety, while the rest
of the congregation was shaken with dreadful gossip about them. Their
shops were open, too, it would seem.
Immediately after the service the _Parnass_ arrested Solomon
Barzinsky's exit, and asked him if the rumour were true.
'Perfectly true,' replied Solomon placidly. 'The Executive
Sub-Committee passed the resolution to----'
'To break the Sabbath!' interrupted the _Parnass_.
'We had already sacrificed our money; there was nothing left but to
sacrifice our deepest feelings----'
'But what for?'
'Why, to destroy his advantage, of course. Five-sixths of his Sabbath
profits depend on the marine-dealers closing, and when he sees he's
breaking the Sabbath in vain----'
'Rubbish! You are asked to stop a congregational infection, and
you----'
'Vaccinate ourselves with the same stuff, to make sure the attack
shall be light.'
'It's a hair of the dog that bit us,' said Mendel, who, with Peleg,
had lingered to back up Barzinsky.
'Of the mad dog!' exclaimed the _Parnass_. 'And you're all raging
mad.'
'It's the only sane way,' urged Peleg. 'When he sees his rivals
open----'
'You!' The President turned on him. 'You are not even a marine-dealer.
Why are you open?'
'How could I dissociate myself from the rest of the Sub-Committee?'
inquired Peleg with righteous indignation.
'You are a set of sinners in Israel!' cried the _Parnass_, forgetting
even to take snuff. 'This will split up the congregation.'
'The congregation through its Council gave the Committee full power to
deal with the matter,' said Barzinsky with dignity.
'But then the other marine-dealers will open as well as the
Committee!'
'I trust not,' replied Barzinsky fervently. 'Two of us are enough to
cut down his takings.'
'But the whole lot of you would be still more efficacious. Oh, this is
the destruction of our congregation, the death of our religion!'
'No, no, no,' said Solomon soothingly. 'You are mistaken. We are most
careful not to touch money. We are going to trust our customers, and
keep our accounts without pen or ink. We have invented a most
ingenious system, which gives us far more work than writing, but we
have determined to spare ourselves no trouble to keep the Sabbath from
unnecessary desecration.'
'And once the customers don't pay up, your system will break down.
No, no; I shall write to the Chief Rabbi.'
'We will explain our motives,' said Mendel.
'Your motives need no explanation. This scandal must cease.'
'And who are you to give orders?' shrieked Solomon Barzinsky. 'You're
not speaking to a _Schnorrer_, mind you. My banking account is every
bit as big as yours. For two pins I start an opposition _Shool_.'
'A Sunday _Shool_!' said the _Parnass_ sarcastically.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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