"Thou sayest they have compassion on thee in their talk," he murmured
at last, half deprecatingly, half resentfully; "have they none on me?"
Her silence chilled him. "But _thou_ hast compassion, Sarah," he
urged. "_Thou_ understandest."
Presently she reopened her eyes.
"Thou art not gone?" she murmured.
"No--thou seest I am not tired of thee, Sarah, my life! Only--"
"Wilt thou wash my skin, and not make me wet?" she interrupted
bitterly. "Go home. Go home to her!"
"I will not go home."
"Then go under like Korah."
He shuffled out. That night her lonely hell was made lonelier by the
opening of a peep-hole into Paradise--a paradise of Adam and Eve and
forbidden fruit. For days she preserved a stony silence toward the
sympathy of the inmates. Of what avail words against the flames of
jealousy in which she writhed?
He lingered about the passage on the next visiting day, vaguely
remorseful, but she would not see him. So he went away, vaguely
indignant, and his new housemate comforted him, and he came no more.
When you lie on your back all day and all night you have time to
think, especially if you do not sleep. A situation presents itself in
many lights from dawn to dusk and from dusk to dawn. One such light
flashed on the paradise, and showed it to her as but the portico of
purgatory. Her husband would be damned in the next world, even as she
was in this. His soul would be cut off from among its people.
On this thought she brooded till it loomed horribly in her darkness.
And at last she dictated a letter to the matron, asking Herzel to come
and see her.
He obeyed, and stood shame-faced at her side, fidgeting with his
peaked cap. Her hard face softened momentarily at the sight of him,
her bosom heaved, suppressed sobs swelled her throat.
"Thou hast sent for me?" he murmured.
"Yes--perhaps thou didst again imagine I was on my death-bed!" she
replied, with bitter irony.
"It is not so, Sarah. I would have come of myself--only thou wouldst
not see my face."
"I have seen it for twenty years--it is another's turn now."
He was silent.
"It is true all the same--I am on my death-bed."
He started. A pang shot through his breast. He darted an agitated
glance at her face.
"Is it not so? In this bed I shall die. But God knows how many years I
shall lie in it."
Her calm gave him an uncanny shudder.
"And till the Holy One, blessed be He, takes me, thou wilt live a
daily sinner."
"I am not to blame. God has stricken me. I am a young man."
"Thou art to blame!" Her eyes flashed fire. "Blasphemer! Life is sweet
to thee--yet perchance thou wilt die before me."
His face grew livid. "I am a young man," he repeated tremulously.
"Dost thou forget what Rabbi Eliezer said? 'Repent one day before thy
death'--that is to-day, for who knows?"
"What wouldst thou have me do?"
"Give up--"
"No, no," he interrupted. "It is useless. I cannot. I am so lonely."
"Give up," she repeated inexorably, "thy wife."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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