“The study of heads has been christened Phrenology, Professors would call it the study of brain; But take my advice, and avoid Pneumatology, For spirits are apt to treat brains with disdain. “For much the same reason, we’d banish Psychology,— What savant can give an account of his soul? And if we could only abolish Theology, The parsons alone would be hard to console! “If ever you happened to study Splanchnology, You’d know what it is theologians lack,— Inquisitors never complain of Tautology, So long as rank heretics roar on the rack. “And now is the time to strike up your Doxology, For we would no longer detain you, my friend;— On Sunday we all have a turn for Zoology, So here is our Catalogue come to an end.” THE VARIATION HUMBUG. The _London Charivari_ thinks that there is more humbug talked, printed, and practiced in reference to music than to anything else in the world, except politics. And of all the musical humbugs extant it occurs to Mr. Punch that the variation humbug is the greatest. This party has not even the sense to invent a tune for himself, but takes someone else’s, and starting therefrom, as an acrobat leaps from a spring-board, jumps himself into a musical reputation on the strength of the other party’s ideas. Mr. Punch wonders what would be thought of a poet who should try to make himself renown by this kind of thing—taking a well-known poem of a predecessor and doing variations on it after this fashion:— BUGGINS’ VARIATIONS ON THE BUSY BEE. How doth the Little Busy Bee Improve each shining hour, And gather honey all the day From every opening flower, From every opening flower, flower, flower, That sparkles in a breezy bower, And gives its sweetness to the shower, Exhaling scent of gentle power, That lasts on kerchief many an hour, And is a lady’s graceful dower, Endeared alike to cot and tower, Round which the Little Busy Bee Improves each shining hour, And gathers honey all the day From every opening flower, From every opening flower, flower, flower, From every opening flower.