Gothic fiction; Ireland -- History -- Rebellion of 1798 -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Romans à clef
How happy some may imagine—how happy Calantha must have felt now that
Lord Avondale was gone. Far from it. She for the first time felt remorse.
His departure filled her with gloom:—it was as if her last hope of
safety were cut off; as if her good angel had for ever abandoned her;
and with a reserve and prudence, which in his presence, she had failed
to assume, she now turned with momentary horror from the near approach
of vice. The thought of leaving her home and Lord Avondale, had not
indeed ever seriously occurred, although she constantly listened to the
proposal of doing so, and acted so as to render such a step necessary.
She had seen Lord Avondale satisfied, and whilst Lord Glenarvon was near
her, no remorse obtruded—no fear occurred—she formed no view for the
future. To die with him, or to live but for that moment of time, which
seemed to concentrate every possible degree of happiness, this was the
only desire of which she had felt capable. But now, she shuddered—she
paused:—the baseness of betraying a noble, confiding husband, struck
her mind, and filled it with alarm; but such alarm appeared only to
accelerate her doom. “If I can resist and remain without deeper guilt, I
will continue here,” she cried; “and if I fail in the struggle, I will
fly with Glenarvon.”—This false reasoning consoled her. A calm, more
dangerous than the preceding agitation, followed this resolve.
Glenarvon had changed entirely in his manner, in his character; all art,
all attempt at wounding or tormenting was passed. He seemed himself the
sufferer, and Calantha, the being upon whose attachment he relied, he was
as fearful of vexing her, as she was of losing him. On earth he appeared
to have no thought but her; and when again and again he repeated, “I
never loved as I do now,—oh never.” It may be doubted whether that heart
exists which could have disbelieved him. Others who affect only, are
ever thoughtful of themselves; and some plan, some wary and prudential
contrivance frequently appears, even in the very height of their passion.
The enjoyment of the moment alone, and not the future continuance of
attachment, employs their hopes. But Glenarvon seemed more anxious to
win every affection of her heart; to fix every hope of her soul upon
himself; to study every feeling as it arose, sift every motive, and
secure his empire upon all that was most durable, than to win her in the
usual acceptation of the word. And even though jealous that she should
be ready to sacrifice every principle of honour and virtue, should he
demand it, he had a pride in saving her from that guilt into which she
was now voluntarily preparing to plunge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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