Shuddering, she flung the ring from her, and it rolled under the
cabinet. She knelt to grope for it, and, having found it, she shut the
box. But, like Pandora, she had let out a whole army of evil fancies,
and they continued to oppress her.
When she went back to her desk she could not write, and at last she put
away her papers and, wrapping herself in her long white coat, climbed to
the cupola.
She had slept there many times with her mother. With only the stars
above them, and on each side a view of the wide stretches of the sea,
they had talked together, and Bettina had learned the beauty of the
older woman's nature; having suffered much, she had forgiven everything.
"Your father," she would say, "was like a child seeking the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow. He was always looking for romance, forgetting
that the most wonderful romance is that of the hearthstone and of the
quiet heart. If he had ever really loved he would have known the joy of
self-sacrifice, of self-effacement--but he did not love----"
"Love is self-sacrifice." Such had been the verdict of the woman who had
given all, and who had received nothing. It was a hard philosophy,
acquired after years of dreariness, and the child had listened and
absorbed and believed. She had heard nothing of love's fulfilment, of
the raptures of mutual tenderness. Hence she had been content with
Anthony's somewhat somber wooing, until that moment when she had drifted
with Justin through infinite space, and had learned the things which
might be.
The thought of herself as mistress of Anthony's big house by the sea
weighed heavily upon her. In those great rooms she would move softly for
the rest of her days. Anthony would work and read and ponder, and when
he was at Harbor Light she would sit lonely through the gray winter
evenings, and the sad summer twilights. But with Justin--oh, the
limitless possibilities!
With him each day would bring its wealth of vivid experience--there
would be always the glory of his strength, the uplift of his radiant
youth!
She put the vision from her. So had her father striven for joy, and he
had missed all the great meanings of life--and she would not be like her
father.
The wind was rising, and wailed fretfully above the waters. The stars
were blotted out.
Bettina shivered. What a dark world it was!
She rose and went down-stairs. Again she sat down to her desk. But this
time she wrote rapidly, and the letter that she wrote was not to
Anthony!
When she had sealed and stamped it, she crept down the shadowy stairway,
thence to the narrow street.
The mail box was at the corner, and she sped toward it; as she came back
on flying feet, a whisper reached her from the darkness of the garden--a
whisper which made her heart stand still.
"Betty----"
"_Justin_----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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